Over the course of my life, I’ve tried journaling a few times. I gave it up each time. I could barely stay awake while I was writing.
ZZZzzzz. So boring…
So now I’m blogging.
But a blog like AGMA is kinda, sorta like a journal. Good, bad or ugly, I share life experiences and my reactions to them. Except this time I’m staying awake trying really hard to make it funny and interesting because you’re reading it too. Yikes!
Like a journal, my blog is highly personal. And, just like Throwback Thursday, I can go back in the past and remind myself where my heart and head was at a specific moment in time.
But it’s also all very public. This keeps me honest. This is a good thing.
Yesterday, I was half-way through writing a pretty snarky post about how semi-miserable my Mother’s Days have turned out for the last 20 years. Cheerful. I thought I’d save it on my Mac – being the creative beast that I am – as MothersDay.pages. But what? I already have a file by that name?
Huh? Oh yeah – last year’s Mother’s Day post.
So because I’m NOT aging very gracefully, and didn’t quite remember what I wrote a year ago, I reread it.
I was shocked. It’s such a sweet and tender and warm and fuzzy-soft post. So unlike what I was in the process of writing. My 2015 MD post was full of briars and sandpaper and scratchy, ouchy, pinchy things. A nails-down-a-chalkboard-type post.
Holy cow – what’s happened to me in this last year? Have I lost my blogging innocence? Am I no longer a blog virgin? Or am I just getting crankier as I age?
Yes, yes and yes.
I abandoned my snarky post.
As a massage therapist, I know something about energy. Healing – no matter what kind – begins by addressing whatever the issue is with the proper professional who can help us in the journey to wellness. And a huge element of that journey is our attitude and “energy”.
What is it that The Dog Whisperer, Cesar Millan, always says? In training dogs, “It’s all about the energy.” I think The Horse Whisperer said something like that too…
Dog training, horse training and crappy Mother’s Days…it’s all about the energy.
So instead of whining, on Sunday I’m going to focus my thoughts on higher ground. On the incredible honor it is to be the mother of two healthy, amazing and successful men. And the indescribable joy they’ve brought into my life for the past 33 years. And how they taught me to love unconditionally and deeper than I ever thought possible. On the thrill I get when I see either of their names on caller ID or on a text message. And the crazy, insane delight I feel Skyping with my four month old grandson.
You know – the good stuff.
We really are what we think.
I know it sounds trite, but I’ve seen it play out time and time again over the years, both negative and positive. I’ve seen intelligent, gifted individuals emotionally cripple themselves through negative thoughts and self-talk. And I’ve seen other folks who’ve had way more than their share of sorrow, tragedy and bad luck, rally and come back stronger than ever.
It’s like the story of the optimistic little child digging through the huge manure pile in the barn saying, “With all this horse poop, I just know there has to be a pony in here somewhere!”
FYI, I think it’s a Clydesdale.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Reading this takes me back about 16 or 17 years. My very stubborn and independent 3 year old son (the ‘oldest’ twin) wanted SO badly to wear his footie pj’s to day care! Me, being a mom who wanted her son to actually look like I gave a dam* was arguing with him about it. And I did argue with him until it struck me that A. We live in Ontario, Canada. B. It was January. and C. it was COLD outside! My son taught me the art, for it is an art, of compromise. He could wear his footie pj’s as long as he wore street clothes over top. We were both happy and he had the added bonus of being warm! They’re almost 20 now and he and I still go toe to toe once in a while although we have learned over the years to listen when the other speaks because they might just have something to say which is worth listening to!
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Love it! I think the most wonderful gift children can give you is the gift of looking at the world differently. They kind of force you into it but in the end it’s a good thing!
I have to admit that I am looking a little bit too much forward to my grandson being 3 and doing things like this to my son and his wife. I’m just going to sit back and enjoy! Is that evil of me?
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Lmao. I can still remember my mom ‘cursing’ me with a child just like me, lol. It’s not evil at all. It’s more like letting them know that they’re turn is coming.
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Pay back’s a bitch ya know…? My son and DIL are kind of control freaks. I can’t wait until they walk into the nursery and find the little guy has been finger painting in his crib with the load in his diaper. Ouch!
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Having played the role of mother and father for my 19 year old daughter, I can relate to the challenges you face. However, I too look back over the years, and the problems fade away leaving only the happy memories behind.
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I have great admiration and respect for you Ryandan! Parenting is a perilous job at best and it’s an extra hard challenge to go it alone. Congratulations on a job well done and happy memories made in the process! And HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
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Have taken far too long to reply to your comment. Thanks for your support, I appreciate it.
Yes raising a child alone is a challenge, but the bond I have with my daughter is wonderful.
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A Happy early Father’s Day to you Ryandan! You sound like the dad I would have liked to have had… Your daughter is a very lucky young lady!
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Thank you. That is an amazing compliment.
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After a week of negative talk from my mother-in-law (with good reason as one of her sons had just died), I finally asked her to tell me something good, some happy memory of her children….and she responded that she’d once had a miscarriage. Sigh. I am soooo lucky to be me and not her!
Love the idea that energy influences all creatures. May you have happy thoughts and Clydesdales this Mother’s Day.
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The bigger the pile of manure, the bigger the Clydesdale right?
I kind of have a MIL like you. If she was told she couldn’t talk unless she had something positive to say, she would never say a thing. It just takes soooo much energy just to be around her. I’m glad you’re you and not her too!
But I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your BIL… It has to be horribly hard for everybody. Take care!
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I love how you came full circle on this AGMA! I am commenting before I go and read your last year’s MD post, but I like the direction you took! Happy Mother’s Day dear AGMA! ❤
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Awww Jodi – thanks! When I write, sometimes I think WWJL (What would Jodi like…) And I’m semi-serious about that. You are always so upbeat and positive and fun.
And I really have no right to whine when I look at my life compared to 99.99% of the rest of the world. I’m living an incredibly charmed life!
Thanks again Jodi and Happy Mother’s Day!
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OH AGMA! Are you kidding me!??!! You kinda just made my day girlfriend! 🙂 Oh how I long to be witty and funny like you! It is a mutual admiration lady! None of us have perfect lives, but if we focus on those cherished MOMENTS, our lives can be so very full. xoxo
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Amen sista!! And I’m going to have to say the blog post by Mikey was pretty darned witty… Just saying’
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Oh crap! You’re not gonna throw out the snatky one are you?
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It’s still saved as MothersDay2.pages, but I will probably delete it. Every now and then, my father emerges in my psyche and the “glass half empty” syndrome takes over my brain. He really was a curmudgeon of the first order. I’m glad I caught myself in time! Unfortunately, he seems to be successfully taking over my brother’s brain… But then that’s a whole different story!
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Love the blog and love the mamma and foal photo. My heart just melted.
Shine On
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Yeah – mine kind of melted when I saw it too…
Thanks for your kind compliment, taking time to comment and the reminder to shine on! You can’t have light without darkness, but there is more than enough darkness around us everyday so that it behooves (isn’t that a great word?) us to try to be the light as much as humanly possible. 🙂
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I don’t call it aging, I call it “growing old gracefully”. What a lovely capture!
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Thanks Arlene! And you did see the name of my blog right…? If I get another donkey, then I can call that one Growing Old Gracefully. So my donkeys would be Growing Old Gracefully My Ass and Aging Gracefully My Ass.
Did you know came up with the name for my blog even before I had any clue what I was going to write about? Like adopting a cat, you don’t pick the blog name, it picks you!
Thanks again for stopping by and commenting!
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You’re very much welcome. I love reading your entries.
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🙂
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I am a young mother facing similar challenges. Yes quite agree problems fade away over the years.
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The trick is us allowing them to fade away… I’ve seen people (me included!) try to hold onto some of those old problems and past hurts. They really don’t do us any good at all!
Cherish everyday you have with your children Ramya! Literally, they grow up when your back is turned and become adults in the blink of an eye. I’m astounded at how fast the years flew by!
Thanks so much for stoping by and commenting. And Happy Mother’s Day!
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A great comment too.. Agree with you on the way they grow up so soon.. my daughter who is 7 now…. I already feel she has grown up sooo soon… miss those sweet moments when I could just cuddle her into my arms… And a Happy Mothers Day to you too… Love your blog posts…
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Thank you so very,very much for the MD greeting and for liking AGMA! And please, continue to cuddle her! You’ve got a good 3 or 4 years left before the hormones come in… 🙂
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Great post and great reminder. Perfect timing.
This Sunday my focus will just be celebrating being a mom.
– FIP
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You and me both sister!! Happy Mother’s Day FIP (and I LOVE your blog name by the way!!)
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Thanks for the reminder to be grateful for the good parts of motherhood! Too often there’s disappointment and sadness which can be overwhelming and I choose not to dwell on those – and sometimes I’m successful! Happy Mother’s Day AGMA!
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You go JaneyDoe! So how was your Mother’s Day? I had a wonderful time just hanging with my younger son at his house. And eating the excellent dinner he fixed… 🙂
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My youngest surprised me at work the Friday before with balloons, a teddy bear and chocolate covered strawberries! Then we did potluck up at my mother-in-law’s and my step daughter wrote me the loveliest note, causing me to cry like a baby. So a good day was had!
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Great thought-provoking post (even though I have never been a mother, I am a daughter) and loved the mom/child horse photo! I’ve seen lots of cute horse pix but this is one of the best.
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I love it too! Weirdly, I Googled “Mother’s Day Clydesdale image”… I lived in St. Louis for about a year and a half and loved to go out to a place called Grant’s Farm (owned by the Anheiser-Busch people) and see the baby Clydesdales in the fields!
Thanks so much for liking my posts! And I love that you thought it was thought provoking even thought you’re not a mom – shows you’ve got a wide open mind (and that will serve you well!) I guess it’s a simple, universal message – don’t dwell on what you don’t have, be thankful for what you do.
Thanks again for stopping by and taking the time to comment!
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My kids are too young for me to be wishing them on themselves when they get older – but it will happen. Hope you had a good Mother’s Day
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And possibly you children are no quite the little “rascals” mine were… It was a lovely MD – thank you! I hope your’s was wonderful as well!!
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Motherhood has been a mixed blessing for me, and Mother’s Day is bittersweet. So, I didn’t mind that we spent the holiday helping hubby’s cousin and wife (also one of my best friends) pack for their move. I got lovely messages from my two kids, and that was enough. I love snark (reading it and writing it) more than just about anyone, but I understand (like you) that sometimes it’s just out-of-place self-indulgence. Happy life, AGMA, and grandchildren really do make it all worthwhile. 🙂
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I love the snark too, but I definitely can get carried away… Glad you had a good MD! Mine was lovely since I didn’t set up a bunch of “conditions” for it to be a good day. Amazing how that works! Happy back at ya SusieQ!
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I love the cute horsey + baby thought photo.
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