Scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, diced, peppered and capped

Bet you didn’t know that Atlanta is the home base of the Waffle House chain of eating establishments.  And that there is a Waffle House Museum in Decatur, GA. And that Waffle House helps predict extreme weather events.

Of course not.  Why would you?

“Plllllease tell us more AGMA!”  I can hear you beg…    I know you want to all become Waffle Houseinistas!

Waffle House is a “restaurant” (I use this word loosely) chain that serves – duh – waffles.

They also have other breakfast offerings as well as pork chops, T-bone steaks, burgers, grilled sammies and Texas melts.

AGMA’s personal favorite is the raisin toast.

Every Waffle House restaurant is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  Every single one. So when you’re on the road on Christmas Day and EVERYTHING else is closed, you can always stop into a Waffle House for breakfast, lunch or dinner.  As long as you’re traveling through the South or Midwest or the lower Eastern Seaboard.  Or southern Arizona.

AGMA and fam did this several times in the 90’s and early 2000’s out of sheer desperation.

This was before I was a Waffle House convert.

Don’t judge me.

Waffle House has 2100 locations in 25 states, with over 15% of them located in the Atlanta Metro area.

They sell 10,000 T-bone steaks a day. Everyday.  And use 2% of all the eggs used in the Food Service Industry. Waffle House is the world’s (and most probably the universe’s) leading server of waffles, hash browns, eggs and cheese, country ham, pork chops, and grits.

Waffle House is a force unto itself.

Who knew?

Because Waffle House is open 24/7, they need to be prepared for really bad weather.  They have something called The Waffle House Storm Center that mobilized during extreme weather and determines if they can continue operations in the area.

Eat your heart out Starbucks…

FEMA (when the government isn’t shut down) uses something called The Waffle House index as part of the criteria in gauging the severity of weather events:

Green: Waffle House is serving a full menu and electricity is on.

Yellow: Waffle House is serving a limited menu, may be low on food supplies, and is likely using an electrical generator.

Red: Waffle House is closed. (Oh sh*t, time to panic.)

When Hurricane Michael slammed into the Florida Panhandle last October, it was Code Red. Waffle House shut down 30 restaurants in the area.

Oh sh*t is right!

But to AGMA, who has grown fond of Waffle House over the 10+ years I’ve lived in Atlanta (don’t judge me), the most fascinating aspect of WH is the way they dish up their hash browns.

Try to follow along…

Order hash browns scattered and your get crispy hash browns.

Scatter and smothered adds onions.

Scattered, smothered & covered adds onions and melted cheese.

Scattered, smothered, covered & chunked adds onions, melted cheese and ham.

Scattered, smothered, covered, chunked & topped adds onions, melted cheese, ham and chili.

Scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped & diced adds onions, melted cheese, ham, chili and diced tomatoes.

Scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, diced & peppered adds onions, melted cheese, ham, chili, diced tomatoes and jalapeños.

Scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, diced, peppered & capped adds….yada yada yada and mushrooms.

Or you can go “all the way”…

Now THAT’S what I’m talkin’ about!

Somebody with way too much time on their hands (a furloughed government employee perhaps?) figured out that there are 2,048 possible combinations of the above.

Yum.

Waffle House is quickly approaching legendary status.  It’s had books and songs written about it.  AGMA is pretty sure there were no Grammy winners, but you can play some of the songs on the Jukebox that is in most every WH.

Famous people love WH and WH loves famous people.  Kim and Kanye doubled dated there with John Legend and Chrissy Teigen.   AGMA and Hubs also dine occasionally Waffle House.  Like I said, famous people.

Since LA and Boston have no Waffle Houses, I predict that Rams and Patriot players will be spotted in WHs around Atlanta in the lead up to the Super Bowl on February 3rd. They can eat a whole lotta stick to the ribs (and arteries) food for pretty darned cheap!

In 2016, Anthony Bourdain went on what was probably his most adventurous culinary adventure of his career.  He ate at a Waffle House.  Of the experience, he said, “It is indeed marvelous — an irony-free zone where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts; where everybody regardless of race, creed, color or degree of inebriation is welcomed.”

AGMA’s getting misty eyed…

Hubs and I have seen both Waffle Palace and the sequel, Waffle Palace Christmas; plays based, in part, on actual incidents that have happened at Atlanta area Waffle Houses.

Truth really is stranger than fiction.

True – so true – for the other WH (White House) as well.

Hey, maybe Individual #1 will treat the Super Bowl winning team to WH in the WH. One can only hope…

Finally, you can take the love of your life to Waffle House for Valentines Day!

Waffle House pulls out all the stops and dresses up some of its locations with candlelight, tablecloths and flowers.  Says CEO Walt Ehmer, “A perfect Valentine’s dinner consists of soft music, great food and a welcoming atmosphere.  And we have all three waiting for those who are ready.”

Are you ready?

Let me know how that works out for you…

To learn more about Waffle House (and you know you want to…) click here!