Russian _______ (fill in the blank), go f*ck yourself

The t-shirt Hubs bought for me!

So clearly the Russian cyber-attacks in response to the global sanctions on Russia for Putin’s illegal, immoral, and Hitler-ish invasion of Ukraine, have started.

AGMA’s sitting in my 3rd favorite coffee shop (for blogging) and my MAC is as slow as molasses. (Do people even say that anymore…??). 

It’s taking like 3 minutes for a page to load.  Oh the humanity!

Back in the dark ages when we had to dial into the world wide web via a modem, this wait would not seem excessive.  In some cases, this was considered ‘fast’.

But times have moved on, and now we’re used to split second responsiveness.  And AGMA tends to get very impatient when I experience a technology hiccup.  Talk about your champagne problems…!

But I noticed a slow down a couple of days ago and again today.  This just might be the tip of the iceberg.

People I consider rational and reasonable are seriously getting ready for the Russian ‘cyber invasion’. They are preparing for an all out cyber attack, taking 1000’s out of the bank, freezing milk and other perishables, and loading up on non-perishable food items.  AGMA hates to tell them that the power grids will probably be an early target (Texas, are you listening?) which will take out electricity, hence freezing anything will provide only a short term supply.  Unless you have a generator and then, of course, there will be the shortage of gas to power it.

Don’t you hate it when that happens? 

I find that those of us living at Casa AGMA are woefully unprepared for Armageddon, cyber or otherwise.

And that’s okay with us.  

It’s always been my position that I want to be taken out by the initial strike.  AGMA’s seen too many movies/TV shows about surviving in a post-apocalyptic world.

No, brain eating does not sound like a survival technique I would like, thank you.

I’ll just be like Scarlett O’Hara – I’ll worry about it tomorrow.

AGMA is 50% Ukrainian.  My grandparents emigrated from Ukraine in the very early 1900’s and settled in Western Pennsylvania.  My mother and her siblings were all 1st generation Americans.

My other 50% is mostly German with a tiny sprinkling of the Biritish Isles mixed in.  Very tiny.  

To be honest, I’ve never been overly excited about my heritage.

Until now.

It’s stunning to see the resolve of Ukrainians in defense of their homeland against the unprovoked, terrorist aggression of super-power lead by an unhinged, wannabe Nazi.  AGMA is gobsmacked by the courage and bravery of ordinary citizens being reported in the media.  

And just when you think that there are no courageous, inspirational leaders left in the world who not only talk the talk, but walk the walk, Volodymyr Zelenskyy is doing a most excellent job channeling Churchill.

I’m hoping he’s a distant cousin…

We always wonder (at least AGMA does) what we would do put in a situation like the Ukrainian people.  I like to think that I would be the lady offering the Russian soldier sunflower seeds.  Or the grandma who is learning to shoot an automatic weapon.  Or the woman who learned how to make molotov cocktails by Googling it.  Or the Ukrainian soldiers on Snake Island who told the Russian warship to, “…go f*ck yourself!”

Make no mistake, AGMA (being the liberal, progressive snowflake that I am) is totally against war, and the horrors it brings to the innocents involved on both sides.  I mourn not only for the Ukrainian lives lost, but for the young Russian soldiers who do not want to be doing what they are doing in Ukraine. I mourn for a country that can never return to what it was a week ago; forever changed by the untenable reality of either kill or be killed.  I grieve for the children, wives, husbands, mothers, and fathers who are and will be grieving for their murdered loved ones.  And for those who have fled their country and left everything behind.

My heart is broken for my (50%) homeland.

That being said, I am also filled with pride that I have the same DNA as these incredibly brave, courageous people with their dogged determination to defend their homeland against incredible odds.  

And AGMA believes that they will ultimately prevail over their would-be oppressors, though there will be much more death and devastation before that happens.

Damn Putin.

In the meantime, I pray the world will support the people of Ukraine in every way possible.

Right now, there doesn’t seem to be a more important item on the pro-democracy checklist than stopping this war-crime laden aggression with all of our collective global efforts.   Despite the temporary inconveniences that may happen as a result.  Higher prices at the gas pump or grocery store are nothing in comparison to having thermobaric vacuum bombs used to kill your children.

We kind of need to suck it up folks…. Again.  But AMGA knows ya’ll can do it!

Also, and this is really important, let’s work as hard as we can on keeping pro-Putin fascists (otherwise known as Republicans or the GQP) out of power here in the US.  

If you think what is happening in Ukraine can’t happen in the US, you haven’t been paying attention.

White House wedding?

traditional-ukrainian-cloth

Every now and then, AGMA likes to review my WordPress spam folder to see what mischief some of the folks out there are up to.

I don’t have any special WP spam blockers like some of you.  I like to see the unfiltered messages of my adoring public.

AGMA must not be on the radar of the “really” fun people anymore because of late, my WP spam has been pretty boring.  Mostly because I can’t read any of the languages of this segment of my fan base.

I did however, receive a VERY heartfelt message from Zana in my email last week titled, I believe that there is my love in this world somewhere, could it be you? :

“Hello, from the first lines of this letter I only intend to explain to you that I really dream to meet a faithful man who will not just be a
husband for me, but a true friend, a passionate lover and possibly a papa for our future kids.
I really want to create a family based on love, good understanding as well as care and attention. It really is also really essential to have common ideas and needs about lifestyle.
Please, write me, what are your favors and dislikes, what are your personal motivations.
Do you have any dreams you have and exactly what your plans in the future??
If there is anything you don’t want to write to me right now, I am going to understand, don’t
worry. And of course, i will tell you everything about me personally u would like to find out!
And now i wish you all the best. i will be patiently waiting for your mail.

P.S! I am 28 years old and also im from Kiev, ukraine.
What is your age and exactly where you from???”

Sigh.  Just a gal looking for her Prince Charming…

You gotta believe in the magic of true love after reading that.

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I’m not a man.  And I’m already married.

AGMA’s thinking that maybe I can be her advocate by forwarding her email to some folks I’ve heard spent a lot of time in Ukraine.  I bet Rudy Giuliani and his wacky buddies can help her out.

At the very least, maybe RG can show this to the Big Orange Cheeto currently squatting in the Oval Office.  Melania’s turns 50 next year.  Based on his matrimonial history, BOC is surely ready to trade in her in for a newer, younger model.

(Ha – model – get it?  I crack myself up!)

I bet he can get Zana a genius visa (like he did for Melania, widely known in her country as the Genius of Slovenia) and she’ll be ready to take up residence in the White House faster than you can say Maria Yovanovitch!

Zana even writes like tRump.  All those missing letters, lack of punctuation and bad grammar.  And I’m sure RG and his band of merry Ukrainians can convince her that she has some dirt on Hunter Biden.

Get her a Twitter account and it’s a match made in heaven.

It’s been a long time since there’s been a good old fashioned White House wedding!

Putin will be the best man and Paula White can officiate (of course, after everybody invited to the wedding sends her their stock dividends from the last year.)  There will be a cat fight between Kellyanne, Sarah and Ivanka as to who will be the matron of honor.  I predict that the groom will choose Ivanka, secretly wishing he was marrying her…

How glorious it will be with hamberders and covfefe for all!

Tricia Nixon Cox, eat your heart out!