Let a smile be your umbrella blah blah blah

hedghog

Source: hedgehog_azuki Source:Instagram

It’s time to lighten this joint up!

AGMA’s last three posts have been of a somewhat somber nature.  My apologies for the barrage of Debbie Downer posts.

To be totally honest, life still seems to be a bit more on the old, dirty shoe leather side than the rainbows and unicorns side.  And it’s so easy to settle into a comfy seat and start chewing away at it.

Like I’ve been doing for the last 3 weeks.

It’s really hard to write a light, funny, fluffy post when you’re just not feeling it.  At least for AGMA it is.

I was never a very good liar.

So my go to in the ‘I need to write something that will make folks smile, but have no clue what to write’ department is my AGMA spam folder in WP.  It’s usually full of potential for humor.  Here’s one of my spam themed posts… Love is Love

But it was not to be.  I guess WP automatically purges spam folders on a regular basis.  The last time I looked at it there were 12 spammies in it.  Today, there are 2.

And one was in Russian:

“Добрый день. Предлагаем Вам наши услуги в области международных перевозок грузов.
Работаем международных грузоперевозок по основным направлениям: Россия (Челябинск, Екатеринбург, Пермь, Новосибирск, Красноярск, Омск, Тюмень, Томск) – Беларусь – Казахстан.
Но можем выполнить перевозку грузов по любым иным маршрутам.
Более подробно можете почитать на сайте компании “МиТур” ”

According to Google translate, it says:

“Good day.  We offer you our services in the field of international cargo transportation.  We work international cargo transportation in key areas.  Russia (Chelyabinsk, Yekaterinburg, Perm, Novosibirst, Krasnoyarsk, Omsk, Tyumen, Tomsk – Belarus – Kazakhstan, but we can carry out the transportation of cargoes on any other routes,  You can read more on the website of the company “MiTour”. ”

ZZZZZzzzzz…

So AGMA might have to consider the nuclear option.

I might have to go all Julie Andrews on everybody.   “Raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens…”

Noooooooo!!!

Yup.

So here’s a partial list (in no particular order) of what makes AGMA smile:

  • Hedgehogs in lawn chairs
  • Minions (the yellow, cartoon kind, not the tRump kind)
  • Champagne bubbles in Epernay
  • The name of the country Djibouti
  • The thought of a Blue Tsunami in November
  • The Tour de France
  • The Crones of Anarchy Facebook page
  • The idea that there is really a pee tape
  • Hearing my grandkids call me Nana
  • Memories of “Hulking out” for my kids when they were young
  • German chocolate cake
  • Robert Downey Jr.
  • Hearing an Al Green song.  Any Al Green song.
  • Cappuccinos in Rome
  • The opening number of Hamilton
  • The Kangaroo Sanctuary in Alice Springs, Australia
  • The possibility of a US Senator Beto O’Rourke
  • Meerkats
  • Reading your blogs (some of you make me LOL!)
  • Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars and Happy by Pharrell Williams
  • Hubs and 1 year old granddaughter watching the Five Little Ducks video
  • Any trip requiring a passport
  • Grandson and DIL dancing to We Know The Way from Moana
  • Any meme with Cadet Bonespurs and family/friends in orange jumpsuits
  • Hugs from either one of my sons
  • Roadrunner cartoons
  • Wonder Woman
  • Hitting that Publish button!

Whew.

So…I feel better.

What about you?

What makes you smile?  Laugh?  A funny story that made you belly laugh (so much so that maybe a little pee pee leaked out?)

Tell all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A star is Photoshopped

vintage-movie-posters-miss-kris-oscars

Lots of movies have been filmed the Atlanta area since 2008 because of lucrative tax incentives for the film industry in Georgia.  Being a responsible blogger, AGMA tried to find out exactly how many movies.  Google was taking way more than three seconds trying to figure it out.  So “lots” is as good as you’re going to get.

Three of the Hunger Games movies, X-Men First Class, Water for Elephants, Anchor Man 3, all Tyler Perry movies, the new Ant-Man and my personal favorite, Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies, are just a few of blockbusters filmed in the land of shrimp and grits.  It’s enough for the Atlanta area to now have the nickname “Hollywood of the South”.  Bless our little hearts y’all…

AGMA lives, loves and blogs in Atlanta.

The film industry has really ramped things up here in the last three years.  Massive production studios are being built.  Professionals in the film industry are relocating from California.  How ‘bout a little culture shock with that sweet tea, darlin’?

Hollywood acting wannabes are moving here hoping for less competition for parts.  In many cases demand for support jobs are outstripping supply.  If you’re “digital data wrangler”, whatever that is, evidently you’ve got it made…

It’s become really common to see the unique yellow signs on local roads directing the “movie folk” to sets.  One of these days I’m going to follow one of the “CREW” signs and see what happens.  I usually can always avoid arrest with the “addled senior” routine…

But I’m getting the fever.  I have a new quest.

AGMA wants to be in the movies.

I’ve managed to fight the lure of Hollywood for 61 years although I’ve always been a starry-eyed movie fan.  I’ve resisted hanging out at the St. Regis Hotel – the hotel of the stars in the Buckhead area of Altanta – hoping for a glimpse of Robert Redford or Paul Rudd.  AGMA hasn’t been loitering around the trendy bars and restaurants that are reporting constant “star sightings”.   Because I would just fit in those trendy places so well…

I think the bobby socks, saddles shoes, autograph book and feather pen are dead giveaways in the “not trendy” category.

But a new wind is blowing up Peachtree.  Pick any one of the 71 streets with the name Peachtree in it in Atlanta.  Seriously.

A new movie started filming a few weeks ago that makes all the difference; breaks down all my resolve.

Captain America: Civil War.

Some of you may remember AGMA’s post after I saw Captain America: The Winter Soldier.  I’m a serious Captain American fan.  And Chris Evans fan.  My kids are his age.  I’m so ashamed…

But this movie brings together most of the Avengers so not only is Chris Evans here, but Scarlett Johansson, Robert Downey Jr., Anthony Mackie, Emily Van Camp, Jeremy Renner, Don Cheadle, Sebastian Stan and more.   I mean seriously – you just know Samuel L Jackson has to show up as Nick Fury at some point too, screaming at everybody about what’s in their wallets.

Be still my semi-arterially clogged heart…

They’ve had some open extra calls.  One was for “high class individuals” like you would find at a gala fundraiser for the 1%.   Since I can’t remember the last time I put on a dress and heels – probably my son’s wedding in 2010 – I didn’t think that would fly.  I saw another one for an African market scene they were doing this week.  Since I’m coming out of this past winter as pasty white as a Beluga whale – with a similar girth – I thought I’d pass on that as well.

They seem to want a picture of you when you apply for these extra calls.  WTF? Actually two – a head shot and a shot from the waist up.  Sick bastards.  But it could be a problem when they actually see what I look like.  Salt and pepper Little Dutch Boy hair, glasses, a neck waddle, those jowly things on my jaw, an ample, gravity-abused bosom, a bit too much around the mid-section…  I wonder if they accept Photoshopped selfies?

But it’s a risk AGMA’s willing to take.  I gotta get on that set.

I know this probably isn’t fair to other’s who might also be applying, but I might have to drop the magic words.  Unfair I know, but I really, really want to have my fifteen minutes of movie magic fame.  I’d actually settle for ten seconds. These words have been know to open doors that were bolted and locked with rusted locks and no key.

“I’m a massage therapist.”

Open sesame!