A star is Photoshopped


Lots of movies have been filmed the Atlanta area since 2008 because of lucrative tax incentives for the film industry in Georgia.  Being a responsible blogger, AGMA tried to find out exactly how many movies.  Google was taking way more than three seconds trying to figure it out.  So “lots” is as good as you’re going to get.

Three of the Hunger Games movies, X-Men First Class, Water for Elephants, Anchor Man 3, all Tyler Perry movies, the new Ant-Man and my personal favorite, Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies, are just a few of blockbusters filmed in the land of shrimp and grits.  It’s enough for the Atlanta area to now have the nickname “Hollywood of the South”.  Bless our little hearts y’all…

AGMA lives, loves and blogs in Atlanta.

The film industry has really ramped things up here in the last three years.  Massive production studios are being built.  Professionals in the film industry are relocating from California.  How ‘bout a little culture shock with that sweet tea, darlin’?

Hollywood acting wannabes are moving here hoping for less competition for parts.  In many cases demand for support jobs are outstripping supply.  If you’re “digital data wrangler”, whatever that is, evidently you’ve got it made…

It’s become really common to see the unique yellow signs on local roads directing the “movie folk” to sets.  One of these days I’m going to follow one of the “CREW” signs and see what happens.  I usually can always avoid arrest with the “addled senior” routine…

But I’m getting the fever.  I have a new quest.

AGMA wants to be in the movies.

I’ve managed to fight the lure of Hollywood for 61 years although I’ve always been a starry-eyed movie fan.  I’ve resisted hanging out at the St. Regis Hotel – the hotel of the stars in the Buckhead area of Altanta – hoping for a glimpse of Robert Redford or Paul Rudd.  AGMA hasn’t been loitering around the trendy bars and restaurants that are reporting constant “star sightings”.   Because I would just fit in those trendy places so well…

I think the bobby socks, saddles shoes, autograph book and feather pen are dead giveaways in the “not trendy” category.

But a new wind is blowing up Peachtree.  Pick any one of the 71 streets with the name Peachtree in it in Atlanta.  Seriously.

A new movie started filming a few weeks ago that makes all the difference; breaks down all my resolve.

Captain America: Civil War.

Some of you may remember AGMA’s post after I saw Captain America: The Winter Soldier.  I’m a serious Captain American fan.  And Chris Evans fan.  My kids are his age.  I’m so ashamed…

But this movie brings together most of the Avengers so not only is Chris Evans here, but Scarlett Johansson, Robert Downey Jr., Anthony Mackie, Emily Van Camp, Jeremy Renner, Don Cheadle, Sebastian Stan and more.   I mean seriously – you just know Samuel L Jackson has to show up as Nick Fury at some point too, screaming at everybody about what’s in their wallets.

Be still my semi-arterially clogged heart…

They’ve had some open extra calls.  One was for “high class individuals” like you would find at a gala fundraiser for the 1%.   Since I can’t remember the last time I put on a dress and heels – probably my son’s wedding in 2010 – I didn’t think that would fly.  I saw another one for an African market scene they were doing this week.  Since I’m coming out of this past winter as pasty white as a Beluga whale – with a similar girth – I thought I’d pass on that as well.

They seem to want a picture of you when you apply for these extra calls.  WTF? Actually two – a head shot and a shot from the waist up.  Sick bastards.  But it could be a problem when they actually see what I look like.  Salt and pepper Little Dutch Boy hair, glasses, a neck waddle, those jowly things on my jaw, an ample, gravity-abused bosom, a bit too much around the mid-section…  I wonder if they accept Photoshopped selfies?

But it’s a risk AGMA’s willing to take.  I gotta get on that set.

I know this probably isn’t fair to other’s who might also be applying, but I might have to drop the magic words.  Unfair I know, but I really, really want to have my fifteen minutes of movie magic fame.  I’d actually settle for ten seconds. These words have been know to open doors that were bolted and locked with rusted locks and no key.

“I’m a massage therapist.”

Open sesame!