A lot of sh*t can happen in 5 years!

92_year_old_marathon_runner_san_diego

In 2015, at 92, Harriette Thompson became the oldest woman to complete a marathon!  She passed in 2017, but what an inspiration!

So somewhere in the bustle of the holidays, my never ending sniffles, and out of town guests, I missed my 5th anniversary on WP!  It happened like on December 30th (give or take a day.)

Happy Anniversary to my little ass, Aging Gracefully!

Holy cow, that was a fast 5 years!

When I started AGMA, I had a lot of time on my hands.  Blogging seemed like a good way to fill some of it.  I’m a bit ADHD, so I needed something to keep me busy.

Little did I know that the next 5 years would turn out to be crazy eventful.  And my days would soon be overflowing with “opportunities” to be busy…

  • The most adorable grandchildren in the world (MAGITW) made their appearances in 2014 and 2016.  And there is soon to be a 3rd MAGITW!  Stay tuned this summer…
  • I decided to start “running” marathons, and have 6 notches in my belt so far.  I ran my 1st one 2 months after starting AGMA.
  • My love of thrifting turned into a little Ebay business.  The problem is that AGMA loves thrifting more than listing the items on Ebay.  And I’m running out of places to store the crap…eh…treasures.
  • I gave up the space I was renting and made the decision to switch my massage practice almost exclusively to corporate chair massage.  And business has been good. Very good.
  • Because of the series of most unfortunate events on November 8, 2016 and after, arranged by Comrade Putin, I’ve become a Resistor (NOT the electrical kind.). This has taken up quite a bit of AGMA’s time.  But it’s time well spent (refer to the 1st bullet point!)
  • I’ve been able to indulge my passion for travel both domestically and internationally like never before.  With a very flexible work schedule, family & friends flung all over the US, a bit more in the bank account, and the desire to sample local wines in every country in the world (still working on this…), AGMA has racked up beaucoup miles in the air and in the car.  Now THAT’s what I’m talkin’ about!
  • Some “not aging gracefully” health junk has taken up way too much time.  I’m not a fan and ignore whenever possible…   But I’m pretty pumped because I had my BIG birthday a few weeks ago.  It’s Medicare time now baby!

Whew.

It’s been a rockin’ and rollin’ 5 years.

But I love this little AGMA blog and ADORE my blogging friends.  Yinz guys (to say it in my native Pittsburghese!)

And I’m looking forward to another 5, 10, 15, dare I say 20 (?) years of blogging.

By 2038, I predict I will have at least 4 more tattoos, will have run at least 30 marathons, have an Ebay business that Jeff Bezos will envy, will have finished my wine quest (hic), will have a great grandchild, and will have visited the Big Orange Cheeto and his posse in prison at least once since being sentenced in 2019.

Nah – maybe not that last one…

But you can read all about it here on AGMA so stick around!

P.S.  I am forever grateful to the now “retired” blogger, Dobster, who gave me wonderful encouragement in those early months of AGMA.  I still miss him – he quit blogging cold turkey one day in 2015.  It was jarring and I felt like I’d lost a friend.  If he hasn’t already, I hope he returns to the blog-o-sphere one day.  His posts made me laugh.

A day in the life…

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I know that ya’ll have been wondering what my ‘typical’ day might look like.  “How does AGMA pass the time?” is a question you probably ask yourself on a daily basis.

Understandable.

Let’s use today as an example of a typical, dysfunctional day in my life.

While my day usually starts around 6:30 AM or 7:00 AM, I slept in a bit.  What??  But I had good reason.  Last night Hubs and I went to see….

…wait for it…

Jon Stewart and Dave Chappelle!  Yeah – THAT Jon Stewart and THAT Dave Chappelle.

With special guests Michelle Wolfe of the 2018 White House Correspondence Dinner fame and Chris Tucker of the Rush Hour movie franchise fame.

AGMA stayed up way too late gaffawing the night away.  But it was epic!

At 7:20 this morning, our cats, Gux and Max, made it known that they were over this sleeping nonsense, and that I needed to get up chop chop and feed them.  I went back to bed after depositing kibble in their bowls.

I got up again at 8:00 to clean up some food that Max puked up.  On our bedspread.

Delightful.

Hubs and I discovered about 20 minutes later that the REST of the food expelled by Max was in a huge pile on our bed sheet in between our pillows.  Glad I didn’t try to shimmy over to snuggle Hubs.

Double delightful.

With the washing machine now swishing in the background, AGMA got ready for the day.  This required I look in the mirror which is always a shocking proposition in the morning.

Washed, brushed, curled and flossed, it was time to take care of some work stuff.

My little Ebay business is picking up again so I needed to get a package ready to ship.  4 English china teacups and saucers.  Scary.  I know I used too much bubble wrap.  AGMA’s  anal in that way.

With the package sealed and labeled, now I needed to figure out if I had enough time to go to the USPO before my physical therapy appointment.

My appointment was in 40 minutes.  I still hadn’t had breakfast, the post office is 15 minutes away, then another 25 to my PT appt.

Just enough time if I grab a banana, put in a mobile order at Starbucks for a mocha, and get all green lights.

Unknown…how long of a line there would be at the Post Office.

AGMA’s always willing to roll the dice.

All green lights?  Not nearly, but there was no line in the USPO and I managed to avoid some accident brouhaha near Starbucks.

I got to my 11:00 AM appointment at precisely 10:59 AM.

It’s a charmed life!

My PT specializes in spine issues.  This is good since I recently found out I have a nasty case of scoliosis in my lumbar spine.  Really nasty.

Bummer.

But it explains a lot.  Since February, running has caused me a lot of hip pain and, later at night, radiating pain down my entire right leg.  Really ouchy stuff.  Difficult to get comfortable.  And I was limping like Chester on Gunsmoke (not everybody’s going to get that reference…)

This has been cause for concern.  I’m supposed to run 26.2 miles in early October as a charity runner.  Friends and family have donated over $2100 to the cause.

AGMA. Must. Run.

Exercises over the course of several weeks proved unsuccessful, so last week my PT tried “dry needling”.  Yeah – it’s just like it sounds…

He exposed my cellulite infested right buttock and proceeded to poke needles into my hindquarters.  It’s sort of like acupuncture, but the needles go deeper and into muscle tissue.

AGMA only yelped twice.

THEN he hooked some of the needles up to an electrical current.  He let my rear end pulsate for 15 minutes.  It felt like simmering butt stew.

But it helped immensely.  There are still some sensations down my leg, but no hip pain during my runs.  And my limp is still there, but it’s much reduced.

So AGMA showed up to my PT appointment today and said, “Bring it on!”

Because there’s been a bit of numbness in my right foot the past few days, he put even MORE needles in this week.  And he turned the current up so that, every now and then, one of my lateral rotator muscles in my rear would start to jiggle.  Like jello.  Cellulite jello.

AGMA kinda wanted a cigarette afterwards.

I’d love to have a picture of the whole set-up, but couldn’t figure out how to ask him without him thinking I was a bit of a freak.

Maybe next week I’ll try a selfie.  Of my butt with needles sticking out and little electrodes hooked up to them.

I am a freak.

And now I’m at Dancing Goats reading blogs, making comments, answering comments and writing this post.

Cats puking on the bed, speeding to the Post Office, shoving a banana down at a stoplight for sustenance, getting electrified needles stuck in my rear, blogging….

Pretty much a typical day for AGMA.

Aging Gracefully My Ass (literally…)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The ecstasy and the agony

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The ecstasy… AGMA DID finish the New York Marathon on Sunday, Nov 6th!!

Barely.

Yes, it was dark .  And the huge crowds that had cheered the winners nearly 5 hours before had vanished. There were a precious few people in the finish line grandstands to cheer on friends or family members who were like me.

Slow.

But it was a great experience. I think.

Round about mile 20, I went into survival mode. I turn totally inward trying to conserve what energy I have left. No more high fives for the people at the side of the road cheering. No dancing to any of the many bands they had along the course. And I turned my phone off so that I wouldn’t feel obligated to look at the sweet, encouraging “Go AGMA go!” texts people were sending.

It was just me, the road and my short, stumpy legs trying to muster the energy to put one foot in front of the other to move forward.

AGMA almost quit within 2 miles of the finish.

Clearly, you have to have the physical conditioning to run a marathon. Or you hurt yourself. Bad. I saw lots of folks limping those last few miles with ice packs on their knees or tape around their ankles.

Ouch.

But you also have to have the mental stamina. And for AGMA, that’s the rub…

The brain conjures up all kinds of negative message trying to convince you to quit. “You’re way too slow.” “You’re way too old.” “You’ll never make it all the way so give up now.” “WTF??”  It’s brutal.

So when all those negative thoughts pop up, you have to do battle with them.  And just keep putting one foot in front of the other. AGMA wasn’t going fast, but I was going…

And in the end, I got the medal, the bragging rights and the leg cramps.

More ecstasy…the next day, I walked slowly – very slowly – onto a plane for Chicago and a mere three hours later got to meet my fresh out of the oven, adorable granddaughter, V!!

And spend time with her big brother B. Lots of time with B. Lots and lots of time with B.

Which I adored doing last month when I hadn’t just run a marathon. This time it was a bit more challenging to keep up with him. AGMA fell into bed on Monday and Tuesday night, completely exhausted.

Then came Wednesday morning. Along with the Wednesday mourning.

The agony.

Waves of nausea and depression pounded over AGMA as I learned that our President elect was a bigoted, narcissistic, misogynistic, psychopathic sexual predator who has skin as thin as an onion, will have access to our nuclear codes and is Putin’s BFF. Now if that doesn’t start you day off on the wrong foot, I don’t know what will…

To say that AGMA is still in stunned disbelief would definitely be an understatement.

I immediately joined the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). And I might even join the NAACP and any other organization that will have me that will work to preserve the rights of all Americans.

All Americans. A-L-L Americans. A-L-L.

It’s going to be a long, ugly four years. And a very, very bumpy ride. Buckle up.

In the meantime, AGMA needs to rest and heal. And what better way than a vacation?

Out of the country. Almost as far away as I can get.

Where I don’t have to look at He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’s orange face, orange hair and tiny hands on every news program or news website. For crying out loud, if he has to be a racist, misogynistic bigot, at least he could be easy on the eyes…

I’ll try to keep posting when I’m gone, but our trip will be, once again, at the speed of light. Or close to it.

In the meantime, let’s all take a deep, cleansing breath. And remember the words of the great Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr who was himself the target of great violence and hate to the point of being murdered…

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”