The ecstasy and the agony

nycmedal

The ecstasy… AGMA DID finish the New York Marathon on Sunday, Nov 6th!!

Barely.

Yes, it was dark .  And the huge crowds that had cheered the winners nearly 5 hours before had vanished. There were a precious few people in the finish line grandstands to cheer on friends or family members who were like me.

Slow.

But it was a great experience. I think.

Round about mile 20, I went into survival mode. I turn totally inward trying to conserve what energy I have left. No more high fives for the people at the side of the road cheering. No dancing to any of the many bands they had along the course. And I turned my phone off so that I wouldn’t feel obligated to look at the sweet, encouraging “Go AGMA go!” texts people were sending.

It was just me, the road and my short, stumpy legs trying to muster the energy to put one foot in front of the other to move forward.

AGMA almost quit within 2 miles of the finish.

Clearly, you have to have the physical conditioning to run a marathon. Or you hurt yourself. Bad. I saw lots of folks limping those last few miles with ice packs on their knees or tape around their ankles.

Ouch.

But you also have to have the mental stamina. And for AGMA, that’s the rub…

The brain conjures up all kinds of negative message trying to convince you to quit. “You’re way too slow.” “You’re way too old.” “You’ll never make it all the way so give up now.” “WTF??”  It’s brutal.

So when all those negative thoughts pop up, you have to do battle with them.  And just keep putting one foot in front of the other. AGMA wasn’t going fast, but I was going…

And in the end, I got the medal, the bragging rights and the leg cramps.

More ecstasy…the next day, I walked slowly – very slowly – onto a plane for Chicago and a mere three hours later got to meet my fresh out of the oven, adorable granddaughter, V!!

And spend time with her big brother B. Lots of time with B. Lots and lots of time with B.

Which I adored doing last month when I hadn’t just run a marathon. This time it was a bit more challenging to keep up with him. AGMA fell into bed on Monday and Tuesday night, completely exhausted.

Then came Wednesday morning. Along with the Wednesday mourning.

The agony.

Waves of nausea and depression pounded over AGMA as I learned that our President elect was a bigoted, narcissistic, misogynistic, psychopathic sexual predator who has skin as thin as an onion, will have access to our nuclear codes and is Putin’s BFF. Now if that doesn’t start you day off on the wrong foot, I don’t know what will…

To say that AGMA is still in stunned disbelief would definitely be an understatement.

I immediately joined the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). And I might even join the NAACP and any other organization that will have me that will work to preserve the rights of all Americans.

All Americans. A-L-L Americans. A-L-L.

It’s going to be a long, ugly four years. And a very, very bumpy ride. Buckle up.

In the meantime, AGMA needs to rest and heal. And what better way than a vacation?

Out of the country. Almost as far away as I can get.

Where I don’t have to look at He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’s orange face, orange hair and tiny hands on every news program or news website. For crying out loud, if he has to be a racist, misogynistic bigot, at least he could be easy on the eyes…

I’ll try to keep posting when I’m gone, but our trip will be, once again, at the speed of light. Or close to it.

In the meantime, let’s all take a deep, cleansing breath. And remember the words of the great Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr who was himself the target of great violence and hate to the point of being murdered…

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”