Close up time?

aqua velva

In 2014, within a few months of starting AGMA, one of my posts got “Freshly Pressed”.

To be honest, I was so wet behind the ears with this blogging stuff on WP that I really didn’t know what that meant.

But it didn’t take long to figure it out.

AGMA went from something like 25 followers to over 2000 in a matter of weeks.  And I was overwhelmed by the volume of comments.

I handled it with my normal cool aplomb….  I turned red, panicked at the thought of more than 15 people reading my posts, and started hyperventilating.  

It seemed like there might be some lofty expectations from AGMA going forward.  I wasn’t sure I could handle the pressure.  

But I managed to hold my AGMA sh*t together and boldly went forward writing whatever the hell I wanted.  Screw ‘em if they didn’t like it….

That post (No Close Ups!) is still my all time high post for likes and comments.

And it was about lightbulbs.

Go figure.

But get ready faithful readers…. 

Get ready WP Freshly Pressed folks…

Get ready world…

Lightning is about to strike twice.

AGMA went lightbulb shopping again!

It all started when I was perusing the Black Friday ads in the newspaper on Thanksgiving Day. 

“A newspaper, AGMA?  How quaint and retro…”, I can hear you say.

Thanksgiving Day is the one day of the year I ever buy a real live newspaper.   And I know why.  Other than the ads, the rest of the paper was dismal.  I think there were 4 sections that were 6 tiny pages each.  

I don’t know about you but AGMA misses old school newspapers.  A computer screen just doesn’t have the same tactile or visual stimulation.  And you can’t wrap a set of cups and saucers with it when you’re moving.

So in one of the super mega hardware store Black Friday ads, I saw something called a wireless lightbulb.

Wireless lightbulb. Seems like an oxymoron.  Like the phrase “Presidential integrity” (specifically applied to Trumputin.)  Maybe not so much the oxy, but the moron part definately applies…

Upon further research, I realized that the lightbulb still needed to be in a wired socket (whew!)  It’s the control of the bulb that’s wireless.  

This is getting interesting.

No more fumbling around in the dark to find a light switch.  Or using old school mechanical timers. 

These “smart” lightbulbs somehow (does anybody really know how?) connect to your WiFI network and are controlled by an app on your smart phone.  Or a hub. Or Alexa. Or Google Assistant. Or Facebook Portal (never in a million years Zuckerberg, you arrogant snot!)  (OMG – did I say that out loud?) 

Or other demonic devices meant to listen into and/or watch your most intimate moments and plant earwigs in your brain.  

Not surprisingly, AGMA does not own one of these wicked devices, born from the depths of Hell, so I’d have to use the app.  Just sayin’… 

And not only can you control them wirelessly via either a hub or app or evil device, but you can control the color and choose from like 1000 different color choices.  


Always in search for the perfect Christmas gift for tech savvy Son#2, AGMA ventured out on Black Friday to said super mega hardware store.  

And I ended up just staring at the hundreds of lightbulb choices.  Again.  It was overwhelming.  Again.  Just like 4 years ago.

Incandescent bulbs are still around, but in short supply.  Thomas Edison and I are still sad about this.

To AGMA’s surprise, those twisty fluorescent “not really a bulb” bulbs were no where to be seen.  No loss there – I was definitely NOT ready for my close-up when those babies were lit up.    

LED rules the lightbulb aisle now. 

But even on sale, the super mega hardware store price was still pretty high for one of those smart bulbs.

So AGMA ordered one from Amazon on Cyber Monday at like $10 off the super mega hardware store sale price.

I got it a few days ago.  And my curiosity is getting the better of me.  

How does it connect to WiFi?  How does the app work?  Will one of those 1000 colors be THE perfect color for me?  Will I FINALLY be ready for my close-up?  Could one of the 1000s of colors not make the Grand Cheeto look so very orange?

Inquiring AGMA minds may need an answer soon.

Very soon.

I’m sure Son#2 wouldn’t mind getting a nice bottle of Aqua Velva.

11 thoughts on “Close up time?

  1. Interesting stuff AGMA, but despite all the seemingly obvious benefits of technology do you ever feel that is all moving faster away from you than you can run?
    Over the past eighteen months I have started to conclude that I really can’t keep up! In my own form of rebellion I have redescovered the joys of clockwork watches, the sort that you wind up or automatically wind whilst you are wearing them….and d’ya know their old fashioned technology and reassuring gentle tick make me happier than any state of the art tech!
    Pride of place is my late Grandfather’s Elgin pocket watch, made in 1908 and still going strong…I wonder how many of 2018’s “intelligent” l.e.d. lamps will still be working in 110 years time? Not many I bet!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dookes!! Oh my gosh it’s good to hear from you! And yes, yes, yes to everything you said! I am stubbornly resistant some of this newfangled stuff – most notably those eavesdropping devices. I will NEVER have one of those in my home. I am a bit dependent on my smartphone, but refuse to have one universal sign-on to apps, websites, etc. Makes it a pain if I forget a password, but I can always create a new one! Ha! And I like writing checks to pay my bills. I know – I’m a dinosaur!

      And I have an Elgin pocket watch that was my grandmothers – I think she got it when she was 16 which would have been around 1897. It was working at one point after my dad had it fixed in the late 1990’s but I never used it so it’s not working anymore. I want to give it to my granddaughter at some point so maybe I’d better get it fixed again… 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • We are so on the same waveband AGMA!
        Yes, get the watch fixed, not only is it obviously a family treasure, but also an important part of American manufacturing history…from the days when both the USA and the U.K. made things of quality to be proud of!
        My watch was given to my Grandfather by his sister, my Great Aunt, who had emigrated to New York prior to WW1 and married a gentleman who eventually became the Agent of the Cunard shipping line in that great city. That old watch means so much to me.
        Keep up the good work with your blog, love it as always!
        Best wishes, Dookes.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Ummm…you’ve put a spotlight (excuse pun) on something I’m finding somewhat irritating – i.e. that technology is doing a lot of things I really don’t need it to do/ is overly complicated…simply because it can be. A friend of mine, standing in his large back garden, started his new sporty car and revved the engine while it was parked in the drive a hundred yards away…all from an app on his phone. No…I don’t know why he needed that facility either…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ha ha ha! I couldn’t agree with you more! I think the lightbulb idea is good in terms of ease of setting a schedule – those mechanical timers are a pain in the patoot! But I don’t need a device on my counter to tell me what time it is or what the weather will be when I can check it out easy enough on my phone. Or to start my car. I mean honestly, unless you live someplace where it get’s like below zero, it just seems a bit lazy to me. It goes back to that idea of not necessarily doing something just because we can… You are truly wise grasshopper!!

      Liked by 3 people

      • I really do love it. I’m always late to the party. But that way I have lot’s of people to tutor me in the “new” technology I am trying to master. In Italy, I ended up ditching my digital camera and using the phone. It actually took better photos. I don’t use the phone that much, since I’m home quite a bit and have the lap top which is easier on the eyes than the tiny screen on the phone, but it’s nice to have it when you need it. My husband is pretty into his, and don’t think I don’t give him shit over it…lol.

        Liked by 1 person

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