What’s your number?

sleeping-on-cloud

Back in March 2015, I wrote about the trauma of Hubs and AGMA buying a new mattress in “My last __________ (fill in the blank)”

Hubs thought this was going to be our “last” mattress.

Not even close.

After 3 1/2 years, we went mattress shopping again.

Turns out the “high quality” POSM (piece o’ sh*t mattress) that the salesperson assured us would last for 20 years (hence Hub’s “last” comment) was…a piece of sh*t.

There’s a special place in Hell for dishonest mattress salespersons.  Right next to dishonest used car salespersons.  And dishonest Federal Appeals Court judges who like beer. And reality stars turned treasonous politicians who think Nazi’s and white supremacists are “good people”.

Did AGMA say that out loud?

After 3 1/2 years, we each had a huge divot in our respective sides of the mattress.  It was so bad that, if either one of our cats tried to lie in the middle while we were in bed, they would roll into whatever black hole divot sucked them in.

We always found them, but AGMA couldn’t escape the nagging suspicion that they had journeyed to an alternate universe briefly though our mattress wormhole.

My side was approaching National Park status in terms of depth and width.  Okay, realistically maybe only Georgia State Park designation.

AGMA Canyon Recreational Area.

The mattress death knell sounded when  I went to an Orthopedist.  After an X-ray of my spine, I found out that it could be used as the letter “C” on a Sesame Street episode.

Perhaps this is why AGMA has been having chronic hip & leg pain after every run since February?

My doc referred me to a spinal physical therapist.  AGMA recently chronicled the subsequent encounters with dry needling in the rear from said physical therapist in “A day in the life…”

The first thing my great PT suggested was that AGMA change the way I sit in the evening when watching TV and working on my laptop.  Instead of slouching on the couch which is sooooo very comfy,  I was to sit in a straight backed chair with a bolster at my lower back.  This would help put the natural curve back in my back and relieve a bit of the pressure on the spinal discs that have been smooshed by my wonky vertebrae.

Noooooooo!!

But AGMA was a good patient and did as instructed, although I initially pined for my uber-comfy spot on the couch.  Pined AND whined.  But, happily now, 2 months later, I love sitting on my straight backed chair and NEVER sit on the couch anymore.  It’s too uncomfortable.

This is good.

The second thing my saintly PT suggested was to get a new mattress.

This was not a tough sell to AGMA.  I hated the POS mattress. But I was a bit worried how Hubs would take it.  I mean, this was going to be his “last” mattress right?

Thankfully, he also recognized that our POSM was a POSM.

We talked about trying to get a prorated refund from the POS mattress salesperson, but ultimately decided that the return probably wouldn’t be worth the effort.  AGMA felt confident that he wouldn’t give up without a fight.  And he’d probably want us to buy another mattress from him.

NEVER!

Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on AGMA!

In 2015, I thought there was a seemly unlimited number of mattress choices.

In 2018, there really is an unlimited number of mattress choices.

Beside traditional mattresses that you can buy in department stores, or POS and non-POS mattress stores, there is now a plethora of foam mattresses!  Memory foam, cooling foam, therapeutic pressure relief foam, countering support foam, firm foam, smooshy foam, and more!

You can order the foam ones on the internet.  Your mattress is delivered to your door in a box.  You “simply” unroll it, give it some time to “plump up” and put it on your bed.

Voila!

But who wants to do all that work?  Do you have any clue how heavy a foam king sized mattress is?  And what are we supposed to do with our POSM?

And what firmness foam do you get?  They are rated soft, medium-soft, medium, medium-firm, firm, extra firm.  WTF??  And layers…how many layers of foam do you get?

They all come with a trial period so if you totally get the firmness level wrong or you just don’t like it, they send somebody to pick it up and you get a refund (sometimes minus delivery fees – gotcha!)  Then what, since you’ve already gotten rid of your old POS mattress?  And, if you order another one of a different firmness, how do you know you’re going to like that one?

Too many unanswerable questions for AGMA…

So we ended up buying the most expensive air mattress in the world…a Sleep Number bed!  But it was on sale…

No worries about delivery – they deliver it (for $199 that is…) And they cart away your old POSM.  And they have a 20 year guarantee (pro-rated after the first 2 years that is…)

And you get a 100 trial period.  If you don’t like it, they will pick it up and give you a full refund (minus the $199 pick up fee that is…)

But what sold AGMA was the ability for Hubs and I to adjust the firmness to our individual preferences.  Insane!

This might be TMI, but I’m a 40 and Hubs is a 45.  Yeah – I said it…

And guess what?

AGMA’s back and hip have been feeling a whole hell of a lot better…

So between the dry needling and sitting differently and sleeping on a better, more supportive mattress and doing some exercises, AGMA just might be ready to run that marathon on Sunday.

Sunday????

Holy sh*t!

So if you’re in Chicago on Sunday and want to catch a glimpse of AGMA in the flesh, come down and watch the marathon.

I’ll be the one in the white hat, blue shirt and running shoes.

Aging gracefully my ass!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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27 thoughts on “What’s your number?

  1. Been there got the T shirt for the whole mattress experience, I share both your pain and joy!
    Now the marathon thing….never been there, never going there, but if it makes you happy have fun in the Windy City and good luck!
    Dookes

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Don’t get me started. A few years ago, I bought a new bedroom dresser and because there was special 0% financing, I also bought a new mattress and some other stuff. We had another mattress in the house which was wonderful, and I had called my husband from the store to ask him to check the name on the mattress tag to be sure it was the same brand. I truly thought I was buying the exact same one, just newer, for the other bedroom. Not so. They were different stores, and apparently the first store had their own version of the brand, which was better. The old mattress is still wonderful. My newer mattress is close to being a POS – and it’s not even paid for yet! At some point soon, I believe it will be relegated to the guest bedroom since we never actually get any guests. Lesson learned.

    PS: Glad to hear you have fewer aches and pains.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yeah…the “almost” the same brand thing is very deceptive! They do it on purpose! So frustrating to pay all that $$ and have a POS… The mattress we had before the POS wasn’t all that bad but it was 8 years old so we thought we should replace it. It’s still in the guest room and quite lovely. Yes – most aches and pains are gone and the rest are probably here to stay! Ha1

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I SO get it about POS mattress stores and “the sell.” Just as difficult as shopping for a car. Glad you found the mattress of your dreams at Sleep Number. We discovered that IKEA has some excellent choices of foam mattresses (and they display all the inner parts, have the mattresses that cool to your body temp, etc.)

    Wish I could be in Sweet Home Chicago to cheerlead you on your marathon. Will it take place on the Magnificent Mile — Michigan Avenue? I miss the City of Big Shoulders. You Go, Girl!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Susan! Life has been nuts since my last post (read about it in my just posted post…). So far so good with mattress. If we hadn’t gotten a sleep number, I’m pretty sure we would have gone the foam route. And I didn’t even think of Ikea! We didn’t go up the Magnificient Mile – I think it’s really hard to stop traffic on it. But we ran all around it. We ran north, we ran south, we ran west and then back east and back north. I dunno – I just followed the runners in front of me! It was a GREAT marathon with GREAT crowd support! Chicago is my kind of town! (I don’t think that’s original…)

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      • Read your “Diversions” post. Sounds like you had a great time what with your g-children cheering squad, Aussie friend. I’ve never understood why Chicago is sometimes called the City of Big Shoulders. Maybe it’s because my sister (who lives there) still wears shoulder pads? Or that “Boss” Mayor Daly (the original) used a lot o’ muscle during the Democratic National Convention back in the 1960’s? At any rate, as always it was fun reading your post!

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      • Thanks Susan!! And I didn’t know it was called the city of Big Shoulders… Everyday’s a school day! She still wears shoulder pads??? What’s that about. And the whole Mayor Daly thing – when I heard about 10 years ago that Richard Daly was mayor, I was like, “Isn’t he really, really old?” Duh….

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Love how you “zinged” this in: There’s a special place in Hell for dishonest mattress salespersons. Right next to dishonest used car salespersons. And dishonest Federal Appeals Court judges who like beer. And reality stars turned treasonous politicians who think Nazi’s and white supremacists are “good people”. LOL!

    Good luck with that marathon!

    Liked by 1 person

    • So I had to lower it to 35. I’m mostly a side sleeper and my hips have been barking with all the running I’ve been doing. They are much happier at 35! Would’ve love to get the raising feature but it was a bit too much $$. Hubs snores, so I use earplugs! Ha!

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