Hubs and I have been put on notice.
We went out to dinner with Son#2 who also lives in Atlanta. He is #2 strictly because he is our second son, born 18 months after Son#1. Son#2 in no way alludes to his position in our hearts and affections.
Although after last night, we may revisit that.
After some discussion about a class Hubs was taking in a seniors continuing education program at nearby university, my younger son made an announcement. I could tell that he had been thinking about this for a while and was waiting for the “perfect time” to bring it up.
Not sure he got the timing quite right.
He told us that it would be best if we found an senior living facility to move to sooner rather than later where we could get involved in “activities and arts & crafts.” He cautioned us no to wait too long. He said he didn’t want us to insist on living in our house until we got “old and bitter, and then fall on the floor and poop all over.”
Yes – those were his exact words. You can’t make this sh*t up.
No pun intended.
Hubs and I burst out laughing. It was just so unexpected and graphic. He was laughing too.
When the belly laughs subsided, he assured us that we were a “long way away from getting to the point of pooping all over.” We must be a bunch of middle schoolers…everybody started laughing again.
We moved on to other topics, which with Son#2, is always interesting. Since he was little, he’s always had strong opinions about things (translation, he was a pain in the arse a good deal of the time…) That hasn’t changed. But at least now he has the maturity and wisdom to select his words and timing, except when he’s talking about us falling down and pooping all over.
But it got AGMA thinking…
When is the right time to give up your home for an alternate living situation due to aging issues/concerns?
We may not be as far away from that as Son#2 thinks.
Hubs is afflicted with that $^#%@%*& neurological disorder. It’s robbing him of the use of his legs. We live in a 4 story townhouse.
And he has to be very careful going up and down all those steps because the weakness in his legs causes him to lose his balance easily. He almost tripped this morning.
While we may not be ready for a senior living situation quite yet, we may not be that far away from moving to one level living.
AGMA’s father believed in reactive crisis decision making. And because he was an absolute monarch in a kingdom of two, my poor, sweet step-mother had to go along with whatever he said.
After my step-mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 1990, we lobbied very hard to have them move closer to us after they sold their home. They lived a 4 hour drive away with no family close by. Not really easy or convenient for us to pop by… We got a realtor involved to try to find a place that they (my father) liked in Cincinnati (where we lived at the time.)
In the end, they (my father) decided to stay where they were, 228 miles away, and rent a townhouse.
Then my father promptly had a nervous breakdown due to the stress of trying to care for my step-mother, and had to be hospitalized.
Within 3 weeks, we moved my father to Chicago with my sister to recover after his release, moved my step-mother to Cincinnati to live with us, packed up their townhouse and had movers put it in storage. And that was just the beginning of some pretty major changes/upheavals in their/our lives brought on my father’s refusal or inability to admit they needed to live nearer to family.
Needless to say, AGMA was close to a nervous breakdown after it was all said and done…
I DO NOT want to do that to my children. I truly want to recognize when it’s time to throw the cards in and give up being lady of the manor.
That will be hard.
Lady AGMA’s had a manor to rule over since we moved into our first house 40 years ago.
But part of not aging gracefully is not being a major pain in the arse to your children as you age. Just a little nagging one…
Just enough to let them know you’re still around.
AGMA has to believe that no matter what living situation we’ll find ourselves in, that I’ll continue to be a crusader for coloring outside the lines and laughing as much as possible.
And using colorful language.
And young men in spandex.
Pass the Depends!