Mr. Feder…Part Deux

capsaicin

So I wrote a post last week while I was in the waiting room of a local gastroenterology practice.  Hubs was in the process of getting a colonoscopy.  I thought it would be a good idea to write about his prep.

Lucky for you, I came to my senses.

So…no post last week.

AGMA is out of control again.

I just got home on Monday from the first of  what will be three long weekends away.  Between February 24th and March 13th, I will be home for a grand total of 3 days.  Three days.

Out. Of. Control.

Last weekend, I did a half marathon in Florida.  I drove down with a friend and stayed at her 80 year old mother’s home.  Her mom was a wild woman cut out of the same AGMA cloth as yours truly.   It was a great time.

And I loved watching my friend’s mother “mothering” her.  It’s been about 25 years since I have been “mothered”…I forgot how (mostly) wonderful it was.  It made AGMA really miss her step-mother.  And feel a bit guilty that I didn’t appreciate her as much as I should have before first Alzheimer’s then the Grim Reaper stole her away from all of us.

Tomorrow, I go to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

ZZZzzzz…

I know I’m nuts, but this is a trip AGMA really doesn’t want to take.  I committed to it last fall before life took a turn for the cray cray.  It’s an el cheapo trip – a friend is renting the condo and invited me to come along gratis.  And I’m using airline miles to get there.  And I don’t think it will be terribly expensive once I get there.

But it’s six days I’d rather be doing something else other than sitting in the sun and walking along the ocean.

Huh?   I know that 98% of you think I’m nuts.  And you would be right…

I get back on Tuesday next week, then leave on Thursday for Chicago to hang out with B & V (my very hip, awesome grandchildren.)  This trip, I very much want to take.  Always.

But I will be missing a long run that Saturday.   So AGMA has to make it up because I’m signed up for another full marathon on 4/2.   Yeah – I’m nuts.

I’m planning on running 20 miles by myself the Monday after I get back.

That sucks.

Right now, it feels like I’m running through grape jelly when I run.  I’ve never been fast, but my half marathon time last weekend was abysmal considering it was a relatively cool day and the course was pancake flat.

I blame the prednisone and the shingles.  And the grand Cheeto-head.  Of course.

Prednisone update…  My GI guy wants me to take the low dose I’m on for another 17 days.  I’ve been on prednisone since early December.   Don’t tell him, but AGMA’s planning on only taking it for another 10 days.  Shhhhh…

I’m so over it.

Shingles update…  The rash is gone with nothing but discolored areas remaining.  Again, TMI.  But now I’m experiencing what they call Postherpetic Neuralgia.  Yuck.

Postherpetic Neuralgia is when the nerves in the area of the rash fire on their own.  And often.  According to Dr. Diagnoseanythingontheinternet, this condition can last anywhere from a few weeks to forever.

AGAM’s rooting for the ‘few weeks’ option.

The weird thing is that I’m not experiencing pain.  I’m getting an intense tingling, itchy, ticklish sensation.  Like really intense.  Like so intense that I feel compelled to scratch and rub the area.

This has been somewhat embarrassing since the rash was on my left buttocks, left hip and left pubic bone area.  You get the idea…

Oh la la.

I read that a topical lotion with capsaisin in it can help relieve the sensations.  Capsaisin is what makes hot peppers hot.  It somehow blocks the nerve signals to the brain.

So basically AGMA would be rubbing a red habanero on her crotch.

Let’s do this.  Sounds like fun.

I had a corporate chair massage gig yesterday.  Since didn’t want to be constantly itching and rubbing my nether regions during the job, I decided to try a topical capsaisin product.

I used the applicator to rub it on.  I wasn’t sure the lotion was flowing so I made sure I put extra on.  Alllllll the way from my spine to just above my pubic bone in front.  I covered it good.  Real good.

Turns out, this was not a wise thing to do.

Round about 30 minutes into the job, the itching and ticklish feelings were intensified and joined by a burning sensation.  Like a 13 year old middle school male,  I couldn’t keep my hands off of myself.

At one point, I managed to take a peek at my waist.  It was bright red.  I mean, fire engine red.

Yesterday is now in the top 10 list of AGMA’s most uncomfortable moments.  Ever.

Too much capsaisin can actually cause burns on the skin.  AGMA thought she was SOL.

But then an amazing thing happened.  After nearly 3 hours of extreme discomfort, it suddenly went away.  Poof, goodbye.

No more itching.  No more tickling.  No more pain.

When I got home, I checked out “the area” and all the redness was gone.  Poof, goodbye.

AGMA felt like she did in the good old days before shingles.  Like four weeks ago.

The itching and tickley feeling came back around 9 PM last night.  Damn.  But not as intensely as it had been.

AGMA looked at the little bottle of the topical capsaisin by the sink.  With fresh memories of intense itching, extreme discomfort and semi-burning flesh, I decided to take extra ibuprofen instead.

As the old saying goes, sometimes the “cure is worse than the disease”.

I’m wondering if the Russians might like my almost full bottle of capsaisin lotion to use in their political prisoner interrogation program.

They’ll talk.  Oh yes – they’ll talk.

AGMA guarantees it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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29 thoughts on “Mr. Feder…Part Deux

  1. I don’t think doctors really know what to do with shingles. I got pain pills for 5 days, after that I was thieving in the medicine cabinet. DH got Pain pills and Lidocaine cream. You got peppered. Everyone’s was in a different area.
    Not so funny thing, one of the men DH works with has chicken pox – at age 40, wonder when he’ll get shingles …
    The vacation sounds alright, not for me, but you may enjoy it more than you think you’re ready for. Go ahead – enjoy!

    Liked by 1 person

    • You were right – I did enjoy it more than I thought I would! All three longggg weekends away in a row were all great but too much. I was (and still am a tiny bit) pooped!

      Yeah – I think every doc probably treats shingles differently. I’m very happy to report that, 3 weeks later, the itching and ticklishness have almost disappeared. I’m definitely on the mend! And as soon as I get back from the trip I have coming up (yes – ANOTHER one), I’m visiting my doctor for a shingles shot!

      I can’t imagine having Chicken Pox at 40. That has to be uncomfortable!

      Like

  2. Where’s the love button. Shingles is hell, from what I saw as a nurse. You somehow managed to make hell hotter and then better!?!?!
    With all the Prednisone on board, how are you able to run and stay so active? You are amazing. I imagine your husband wouldn’t know whether to laugh or cry with you when you have such a funny sense of humor! Lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the love Joyful!! And I never tried the capsaisin again. I read that the more you used it, the less intense the burning is (and that it eventually goes away) and the more relief you get from the shingles ‘sensations’. I wasn’t willing to take the risk!

      To be perfectly honest with you, this winter has been a real struggle with my running and pretty much everything that didn’t involve sitting on the couch. Between the prednisone and the shingles, it kinda sucked. But I’m declaring that I have turned the corner and everything will start coming up roses! 🙂

      And Hubs kinda doesn’t get my sense of humor which is why I blog. You guys get me! I love that!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. First thanks for skipping the colonoscopy description. I’ve had three, no one wants to know about that. My father had the shingles once, for about 4 years – sorry, that’s not comforting is it? Well, his comment was, “I can live with shingles, but can I have the kind that doesn’t require nails be pounded in to me?”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh – he had it bad didn’t he? Reading about the postherpetic neuropthy that you get after the rash clears up scared the bee-jeepers out of me! Like your dad did, some folks have the pain for years. YEARS! Yikes! And numbness (which I had on my gluteal area and down my left leg). TMI? So I read that if the numbness doesn’t go away after a year, it’s probably permanent. Comforting. But mine is starting to go away so I’m a happy camper! And the tingly, itchy sensation is going away so I no longer scratch in public. That’s alway a good thing!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. AGMA as I was reading about the red itchy burning regions I was picturing a large frozen (as in water) diaper worn discreetly under your clothes, which I have no idea how you could pull that off. It just seemed like it would feel good on all that inflamed epidermis. I had shingles after my hysterectomy and they gave me anti viral drugs which made my blood feel like it was boiling in my veins and made every nerve in my body scream with pain for one whole night, in which I thought I was surely dying, then things started getting better and pretty quickly too. I hardly ever hear of anyone getting that drug though so maybe it was dangerous or something! Maybe a good slather or Aloe Vera from the actual plant would help? It smells weird and is a little sticky but it has great healing properties. Good luck with the vacations and grand kids and races. Whew! You are one busy lady. xox

    Liked by 1 person

    • Your frozen diaper idea intrigued me – brilliant idea – but I didn’t do it. I did however, use an icepack on my nether regions that felt like they were on fire… I didn’t have a reaction the anti-viral they gave me and for as much as I have been complaining, I really do think it helped immensely. I’m just a bit of a baby and like to whine. I used some stuff I have called Cryoderm heat which seemed to help as well as some gel with lidocaine in it and regular lotion. Between the three of them, they helped me get through the night for about a week. I am MUCH better now, only having to scratch my privates a few times a day rather than what seemed like constantly. Ha!

      The trips were all good, but very tiring. I know – 1st world problem… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks AGMA.
        G is doing OK under the circumstances. He had two operations on each of his arms. In his left one he has a plate and screws, in the right there is more metal and also a bone graft, which was taken from his hip. His right knee is in a brace, but at least he can shuffle around his house. He’s in a fair bit of pain, but his biggest annoyance is frustration waiting for his body to heal. He’s not the most patient of people, but is already planning his next petrol powered project!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh my…. I need a beach-break after reading all that! Enjoy the days by the ocean. Maybe salt water will help? I do believe there is power in the sea air and watching the tide ebb. And good luck with the training…another marathon? You are an inspiration!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yup – another marathon God wiling, and I don’t trip and fracture something before April 2nd. Mexico was better than I thought it was going to be, but I never went into the ocean. It was a bit chilly and I’m a wimp. We just spent out time eating and napping and shopping and drinking. Pretty much in that order. And I did run 3 times. Impressive (to me) since I was only gone 6 days.

      Am I really an inspiration or am I that older lady that everybody points to and whispers about? 😉

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the love! And that is not the first time ‘quirky’ has been used to describe my writing. And me.

      The trip to Mexico was actually fun. I’m glad I went. But with it crammed between the other two trips, it was a bit crazy. I actually got back from Mexico a day late because of a late plane into Dallas and a missed connection, which gave me about 24 hours at home before I left for the third trip Chicago. Too much travel to different places in too short a period of time… I won’t do that again. (Famous last words!)

      One more trip coming up and then I’m home for a good spell!

      Like

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