Random AGMA lesson’s learned in 2+ years of blogging in no particular order:
- Don’t blog while drunk. I won’t tell you which ones…
- The word spam is as popular as penis (tallywhacker) and vagina (she-she) when it come to searches. Almost. An AGMA post with spam in the title got like 200 views in one day.
- Almost nobody out there cares that I like to watch Men’s Elite Professional Cycling. I totally don’t get that.
- No matter how hard AGMA tries to answer the questions that are part of those blogging awards, it never works out. But THANK YOU for nominating me!! I meant it when I said it was a huge honor!
- Writing is way more fun when you don’t have somebody grading your work. Way. More. Fun.
- AGMA followers aren’t quite as anal about how I write as my high school English teachers.
- Blogging friends are sorely missed when they stop blogging. So don’t stop!
- WordPress Blogging 101 is a lot of work. Someday I’ll finish it. Yeah, right…
- I will never make it beyond WordPress Blogging 101.
- When you get Freshly Pressed and are on the WordPress Recommended Blogs List, you get lots and lots and lots of followers. THANK YOU WordPress!!!
- Most Freshly Pressed and Recommended Blogs List followers never actually read your blog.
- When you get removed from the WordPress Recommended Blog List, the follows slow down to a trickle. But those folks actually read your blog.
- Sometimes it’s best not to overthink starting a blog. Just pick a cool name, sit down and start writing.
- AGMA can be funny, but not nearly as funny as some of you out there. Please keep me laughing!
- There is never enough time to read the blogs I love. I hate that…
- Bloggers (at least the one’s who follow AGMA) are some of the nicest, most caring people in the world. Crikey, it’s getting deep in here.
- When you only post once a week, it keeps ‘em wanting more. Right? Hello? (crickets)
- When your friends and family don’t know you author a blog, the possibilities are endless. Take from that what you will…
- Never, ever say, “Blogging seems so stupid. I mean, who cares?” Gulp.
- Blogging just might connect you with some part of yourself you’d lost touch with or didn’t even know existed.
And finally…
21. Blogging really is cheaper than therapy. Or a good adjunct.
Good night no. I will try the Spam trick.
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It’s a much less controversial word… I have no idea why it was so popular!
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great list. Tell us that is really a picture of you. Even if it’s a lie. But, Men’s Elite Professional Cycling? Still?
Well, I need to increase my blog stats so I am off to write a post titled “Spam and Its Uses in Sexual Rehab After a Cycling Accident.”
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That id a made me laugh! Good job! Of course I’m not difficult to make laugh. Lol
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I’m like you Joyful – it’s pretty easy to make me laugh! I’ve always thought it was a blessing that I was so easily entertained… Ha!
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Yeah, sure, it’s a picture of me, ah, that’s the ticket. Happy? 😉 But let me warn you, if you Google “vintage dominatrix images”, you’re gonna get more than you bargained for. Yikes! I saw things I’m not sure I can ever unsee…
And let me quote Professor Snape from Harry Potter fame re: Men’s Cycling… “Always!” The Spring classics have been awesome especially last Sunday’s Paris-Roubaix with 27 sections of cobbles where Australian Matt Hayman crushed Tom Boonen’s dream of a 5th victory by a wheel length. And there were lots of young men in spandex.
I’m looking forward to your next post!!
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I can’t recall ever learning THAT much on a school day! For the record, AGMA is freakin’ hilarious. 😀
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Oh thank you, thank you!! Making people smile and laugh is sort of a lifetime quest! I’m really glad I discovered blogging because I think I’d stink at stand-up.
Last night I thought about 5 more things to add to the list. I might make this a dynamic post and add to it and repost from time to time. That would be fun! Thanks again Margarisa!
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That’s definitely a worthwhile lifetime quest! 🙂
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I read those I follow and most of the time, I comment. If I don’t comment it could mean any number of things – I’m sick, I’m busy, I’m not saying anything to be nice, I simply missed the post. I like followers who participate – not the ones who follow my blog just to get me to follow back. You know?
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Absolutely! I feel the same way. I do read what I follow. Or at least I try to. I usually get to it about once a week and think I do miss a lot in between. As I said, I hate when I miss posts! I really try to comment as much as I can, but sometimes, there’s just not enough time or others have said what I was thinking or I’m brain dead. The brain dead seems to happen a lot! 🙂
Oh – and THANKS for your comment!!
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Go Spam!!! 😄 and I agree…….so much cheaper than therapy!!!!! 🙃
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Or sometimes you still need therapy, but this is a nice “complimentary” treatment! And the price is right! 🙂 SPAM rules!
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LOL. Was it “spam” that you eat or internet “spam” in which you wrote? Yo. Consider yourself lucky that you got WP Freshly Pressed. I got WP Freshly DEpressed!
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It was internet spam, which is just so funny and creative, but I did make mention of the other Spam.
And I do consider myself mystifiyingly fortunate. It was only 5 months after I started AGMA. I had like 12 followers and I was pretty happy with that. And I was really enjoying what I was writing. You know that I am my own best amusement… 🙂 I get an email from a lovely woman in WP Central who said she really liked my blog and was going to feature a post on FP. And she said she was going to put it on the WP list of recommended blogsI was such a newbie, I wasn’t sure what that meant, but it sounded good. She liked my blog.
I really wasn’t prepared for what followed. Once the post got FPed, I got 182 views on AGMA that one day. And it continued at that level for the next couple of weeks. And lots and lots and lots of comments. And lots and lots and lots of new followers. Now remember, I’d been getting 4, maybe 5 views on my posts up to then. And 2 or 3 comments. It really was overwhelming (for me…) and a bit traumatizing in a weird kind of way. My little “personal” project wasn’t so personal anymore. Rather than writing for myself, now I had followers with expectations. It’s hard to explain… It was a wonderful thing but I didn’t really feel prepared. Does that make sense? I guess it was a good problem to have…
I kind of struggled with my posts for a while and all of the imagined “expectations” until I finally just said, screw this… And I went back to writing for myself.
So all that’s to say, don’t be freshly DEpressed! As long as your are writing about what you love or what’s important to you and doing it in a way that pleases you, that’s really all that matters. AGMA would still be alive and kicking even if I still only had my original 12 followers because I love it!
Wow – that was way more than you wanted to hear I know. I got a bit of diarrhea of the brain… Sorry!
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Men’s Elite Professional Cycling AND high school English Teacher in the SAME blog?!!?! Cool….
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Thanks! That’s just how we roll over here at AGMA, Carla… 🙂
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“Cheap therapy, men’s cycling, school references…reality writing?”
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I think you might be onto something! Let’s think about how we can create the equivalent of reality TV in the blog-o-sphere. It could be big; huge even! We could make hundreds…
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If we could just find a “has been” athlete married to an Albanian crazy person, with a house full of dysfunctional children…wait, that’s already been discovered?
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Regarding #1 – it’s a good thing I just published my birthday post ’cause I’m about to open at least one of those wines. Hope you all will let me know if I publish a second post later, and if it makes any sense if I do. Bloggers Rule! (just getting into the spirit)
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I just checked. Only one post. Whew…that was a close one!
And I love how you said you were going to be opening “at least” one of those wines! How ya feelin’ the morning? I said HOW ARE YOU FEELING? Okay – I’ll stop shouting…
Hope you had a wonderful celebration last night C’sMom! And I’m glad your family ignored the no celebration request! The fact that there have been “too many of them already” is precisely the reason each one should be a wild rumpus!! Party on…
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I had just one glass of the wine, and as luck would have it, it didn’t agree with me. Happens sometimes with the colitis. So now I’ll have to wait a few days before I try the wine again, probably one of the other ones. But never fear, the wine will not go to waste, it will just take a little longer than expected to finish it.
PS: Thanks for checking up on me – I’ll take “views” any way that I can. 🙂
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Ain’t no crickets here!! I couldn’t tell which of your blogs you wrote while drunk and which you wrote while sober. I think that means you are funny “irregardless” (just for the comment about your readers and being anal about grammar) or you are hilarious either way!!
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I like “irregardless”… I just think it sounds good and hey, those grammar police need to lighten up! 🙂
Thanks for laughing along with me! Life is so much sweeter when you have people to smile with you on the journey!
It’s funny – I did the drunk blogging a few times in the beginning. Ugh. Some of them I never published. Some of them I did. And the spelling and grammar where dreadful. And they tended to ramble on. I went back one day and edited them, cleaned up the spelling and grammar and made the thoughts a bit more lucid. Then a week later, I got the notice I was going to be Freshly Pressed. Although the post that got FP was not one of my “under the influence” post, I wonder if AGMA would have been FP if I hadn’t tidied things up because I know the WP FP lady did read my other posts… Lesson learned for sure!
Thanks Joyful for being such a joy to me and everybody else in the WP blog-o-sphere!!
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Thank you so much!! You made my day!! We are both characters, aren’t we! So how do you recommend reaching more people. I am growing my following but it is slow. I think your revelation about doing awards and challenges was right on. There those who will continue to follow after the dust settles. If you are ever near Raleigh, NC, let me know. I would put you up for the night. I do have two cats though, in case you’re allergic. Lol
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Hmmm – it must be time to do a cat post. I can’t believe I haven’t done a cat post before! I have two cats as well so I’m good with cats (but NOT hairless ones!)
I’m happy I made your day! Starting my day out reply to WP comments is unusual for me but I am LOVING it! Ya’ll are making my day!
Oh goodness – thanks so much for the gracious offer!! I’m so honored! It seems that with all my travels, I’m never around Raleigh way 😦 although I love that part of the country! My husbands family is originally from eastern NC. Watch out or he’ll want to get a saliva swab from you to see if you’re related! Ha!
Ahh…another idea for a post… His pathological obsession with genealogy and collecting people spit! I’m telling you – you can’t make this stuff up. Thanks Joyful!!
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Spam? Who knew! Maybe I could post a recipe for Span salad that I grew up on. Thanks for all the tips!
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You’re welcome! Not sure that they have broad application, but you can harvest what seems to make sense to you.
And I am mystified by the spam thing… I was writing about email spam but certain referenced the other Spam. Let me know how it goes!
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At the end of 2015 WordPress sent me one of those year end reports, where I discovered that most people find my blog by searching “Naked Women of 70” . I’m so proud to be reaching my target audience!
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I read your comment last night and chucked. And I’m chuckling again. OMG who would search such a thing? And why did your blog pop up? Sounds interesting – I’ll have to be more attentive to what you write…
You know, I’ve never checked that year end stuff out. I’m usually too stressed out from year end stuff! I bet most people find AGMA because they search “Naked Women of 70 with shaved hop-has” Just a guess…
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One of my earliest posts was titled “Middle Age Peep Show.” I hadn’t yet found my blogging voice, so it’s decidedly not one I look back on with any great appreciation. Nevertheless, when I wrote the title I never once gave even a thought to how it might appear in the search engines. To my chagrin it’s turned out to be one of my enduring posts, statistically speaking anyway. I learned you have to think twice about titles!
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Or not…. 🙂
Sounds intriguing! Did you get some interesting comments?
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<"naked women over 70"
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Are you searching for yourself?
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No, if I searched for myself that would be “semi-nude octogenarian”.
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You wild thing you….
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I love blogging while drunk. I get all kinds of feels and end up weeping into my keyboard.
I just never post those posts. But boy are they profound and self-involved!
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Been there done that but have actually posted some. Regret is a bitter cup to swallow… I was glad my blog was anomoyous!
But it was early in my blogging life so I went back later and heavily edited them. So now they make sense. Sort of…
Now if I could just quit Facebooking when I’ve a bit too much wine… I’ve said some crazy *hit! 🙂
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Haha, I thank my lucky stars that I never have the impulse to post to fbk or my blog when drunk.
I do however drunk text. Which although less public is no less humiliating.
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Yay Number 18! 😁
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I figure I’ll leave my WP info with my personal papers so that when I pass, my family and friends can go in and read AGMA. I mean, what could they do to me at that point? 🙂
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Hahahahahahaha!
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One lesson I have learned is write for yourself. Don’t try to please anyone else. You obviously have learned your lessons well. And by the way, couldn’t you find a more current picture of yourself?
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Like I told Andrew, that is a picture of me. If you want it to be. Heck – why not? 🙂
You are SO right about writing for yourself! That is actually the one piece of advice I get newbies when they ask. To me, the only way I get satisfaction from my writing is if it’s authentic and from the heart. When I have tried to “force” posts, they are just meh…
You know, AGMA is the first time that I have really let me be me. Sorta sad since I was 60 when I started it. But better late than never… I think we are so constricted sometimes by the hurts of past and what’s “proper” and the expectations of others that we often times lose our true selfs (or is that selves?) AGMA has allowed me to break free of all that and just have fun and say what I want (within my own tolerance for what is proper – not somebody else’s!) and really sort some stuff out in my head. I’ll say it again – like therapy but way cheaper!
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The top search term for my blog is “old lady in thong.” And, yes, being Freshly Pressed does bring a lot of “followers” but you’re right about the ones who actually stay to read your blog and occasionally comment. But that’s cool. It’s still exciting to be FP’ed. My biggest thrill, though, was when I wrote about Bristol Palin doing a book signing at our local Walmart entitled “She Came, She Signed, She Left After 30 Minutes.” A couple of liberal websites (Crooks and Liars was one of them) picked it up and linked to my post. I had 4,000 hits that day and over a hundred comments. It was an amazing, never-to-be-repeated event for sure. It was fun while it lasted. Yes, don’t worry about your audience. Write for yourself. That’s what brought your devoted fans to you in the first place. 🙂
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Whoa… Not sure what I’d do with that kind of press. Go into shock probably. But they say fame comes to those who can handle it. Not really – I just made that up! How exciting! And I can say I knew you when…
Did you get any haters because I bet I can guess what the tenor of your post was… 🙂
Our friend, Life in the Boomer Lane was the featured blogger last week or the week on Huffingtonpost.com before for her hysterical post on cat. That’s pretty big time as well. I quite frankly love her Starbucks post of last week and still find myself snickering about it.
And yes, despite my “complaints” about it, it is great to be FPed! Other than lots of new followers, it really helped me clarify why and what I was writing. For me and to make me (and hopefully others) smile. With the occassional therapeutic post thrown in now and then…
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No haters that I can recall. There was one woman who drove about 70 miles to get her copy of the book, “Not Afraid of Life,” autographed. She was thrilled. In my post, one of the Walmart checkers who was closest to where Bristol was sitting said an older woman came through her checkout line and sniffed, “What does SHE know about life?”
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Oh good! I guess that the folks who read those sites would be of like mind. But you always seem to have your random troll.
And I think I might have to agree with the lady in the check out line…
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Great thoughts! You had me laughing and nodding my head in agreement all the way through. My initial goal was to have my blog be totally anonymous. But after weeks of no readership I finally gave in and told former co-workers and a few close friends. I’ve never told family, which I agree does give you license to write about them (or at least make references). Were I to do it all over again, I’d have been more patient and just let the readership slowly grow, and *not* have told my former co-workers. I do admit their reading it has hampered what I can write about my previous career. Cest la vie.
I’ve had moments when I wished one of my post’s were chosen for Freshly Pressed (or whatever the equivalent is at the moment), but your comments about it are fascinating. Perhaps having a smaller, more intimate readership is better after all.
And gee, AGMA, but the pic you chose for this post is absolutely top shelf. It too should help with those search engine stats. 😉
– Marty
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Isn’t she some 1950’s Italian starlet? For some reason she looks really familiar. I don’t know – do people do searches on “vintage domimatrix image” other than me? That was sort of a dicey search – I saw lots of things I’d never seen before and was kinda glad I’d never seen them before!
Make no mistake about it – being Freshly Pressed is great! It’s quite flattering and for a split second, you feel like your a really clever writer. But it felt totally underserved, considering how many REALLY clever writers there are out there! I was never really one to do well with a compliment…
I’m really happy with the way AGMA’s evolved other than I really want to start writing shorter posts. I always seem to be flirting with 1000 words. Just like me, AGMA tends to be long winded!
I’ve been pretty disciplined with not telling anybody. Lots of folks know I have one, but not where it is or what it’s named. I’ve actually told two people I know (live in a different city with NO connection to anybody else I know) the name but I don’t think they read it. Figures… 🙂
Thanks Marty as always, for laughing AND commenting!!
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You aways make me smile and often laugh out loud. #5, 9, 20 and 21 so resonated. And #13 is my new affirmation. I haven’t posted in 3 weeks and feeling a challenge coming on – AGMA says “just pick a cool title and start” … maybe in a day or two I’ll be back….
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Don’t overthink it… Just do it!! (Am I allow to say that or will NIKE sue me?) And I’m so happy somebody else is going to take Remedial Blogging with me! 🙂
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I love your list of coffee list of blogging aphorisms. Uniquely yours. 🙂
Last 2 area especially real for bloggers who enjoy blog. Did you know you could be funny …in blogging?
For me, integrates 2 longtime personal passions of writing and “art”, in the sense of pleasing/relevant photos to grace words.
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I remember when you wrote about turning to your art after your accident when you couldn’t ride for a while. That really struck a chord in me because I don’t have any artistic or musical talent so felt like I would have nothing to turn to if I became disabled, either temporarily or permanently. I guess I still could write, but it would be so much more wonderful to have multiple outlets… *sigh* Some folks get all of the gifts! Can you see me turning green…?
I’ve used humor throughout my life as sort of a personal coping mechanism. Life can just be so hard at times, and as a young person, it can be difficult to navigate the waters. Humor has helped me make “things” less scary. Does that make sense?
So I’ve always had these funny, semi-sarcastic thoughts swirling in my brain. Now I’m just letting them loose… Within reason that is! 🙂
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You have a great natural gift for humour and it shows in your blog. Hope to see its infusion in your blog..and your attitude for life. It helps others.
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OK…so all this sort of reminds me of another school teacher story…Not that I would ever piggy back on your blog or anything, but, just wait…you’ll see…
So I was teaching a group of special ed elementary aged students, and the story we were reading had a character who was a hobo – you know the kind, bandana on a stick, riding the rails, eating beans out of a tin can over a fire in a barrel…Yeah, that kind. Well, these kids had never even heard of such a thing, and couldn’t imagine what that type of hobo looked like. Now close your eyes for a minute, and just imagine what happens if the teacher does a Google search, on an ELEMENTARY SCHOOL COMPUTER, and enters the word, “tramp.”
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Probably much like when I Googled “vintage dominatrix image” to find the image I used except not in from for some wide-eyed kids! I wanted to scrub my eyes out. Yikes! I bet their eyes popped out. Did you hear from any parents? 😉
And please feel free to piggyback! I certainly did that on Life in the Boomer Lane’s post with my shaved hop-ha post! I think if a post can stimulate the desire to write a post on a related topic, that’s a good thing!
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Luckily, I was just preparing the lesson. No kids in the classroom at the time! Whew! LOL
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You are a genius!
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Actually, my mother had me tested. Slightly above average IQ but not genius level (like Sheldon Cooper!)
But THANKS for the awesome compliment!!
I wonder what ever happened the the concept of IQ? I remember growing up and in HS, it was a big deal to talk about your IQ and we seemed to be tested for that on a regular basis. I knew somebody who was in MENSA years ago and let everybody know it. Yawn. I guess it didn’t matter to him that he was a total flake and ended up getting fired because he was always missing work and being irresponsible. I guess just because you have an high IQ doesn’t mean your particularly smart…
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Amen to #20 & #21!
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Preach it sista! Those are my favorites!!
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I like everything about your list. I like everything about your blog. I have a feeling I probably like everything about you.
You make brilliant observations about blogging. I most Irelate to #13,15,16 and 18. Although I am tempted to add spam in my next blog heading. 😛
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Welcome to AGMA!! I’m not sure what to do in the face of such incredibly lovely compliments… Thank you, thank you, thank you!! You have no idea how much your kind comments mean to me…
And just an FYI, I have some pretty irritating habits that might put you off. Or so my husband says. But what does he know? He’s only known me since 1973 which I think is just not nearly enough time to get to know the real me! 😉
Thanks you again and please stop by from time to time!
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I can promise you that not one thing about you or your writing would irritate me. You are open and honest and ‘letting it all hang out,’ which is so refreshing. I think this is one of the perks of aging (gracefullymyass). 🙂
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Great post. You’re list had me laughing!
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Thanks so much!! I have to say that I’m flattered you read a post from 7 months ago…. WELCOME TO AGMA!!!
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😁😁 Aww it was my pleasure. Thank you for the warm welcome!
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SASS!!!! So much sass I literally felt the swivel when I saw your blog name. You write like a boss with a quirky sense of humour. I LOVE IT
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Well…nothing like responding to a comment 6 months later… Oops – so sorry!! Thank SO MUCH for your amazing compliment! Not everything I write is a home run – some don’t even make it to 1st base. But I try to stay honest to who I am and I DEFINITELY don’t make it 1st base some days! Thank you again so very much and again, sorry for the long delay in responding!
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Also, I guess the tag “blogging” may strike every single person on WordPress as relevant. These are great tips.
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Ha! I guess it’s an all encompassing rage right?
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