Of tramp tats and haircuts

vintagehair

I got a haircut last week. And not just cut but CUT.

My husband’s hair is longer in the back than mine. And his hair looks like he could be a Marine Sergeant.

When I got to the salon, my tattoo covered, septal cartilage pierced 30 something stylist asked me if I wanted the same cut as last time. “No”, I said. “I want something that’s a bit edgier and doesn’t make me look like I’m in my 60‘s.

Even though I am in my 60’s… But that’s beside the point.

She looked at me kinda funny. And I think I saw her eyes roll back ever so slightly.

“Do you have some pictures of haircuts you like?” she asked me. A very sensible question.

“No, but I thought about doing that.” I sounded pathetic.

Another, more pronounced, eye roll.

Her voice sounded a little strained when she said, “You should create a Pintrest board and pin the hairstyles you like on it to show me.”

What, huh?

Her eyes went really far back in her head this time.

Sighing, she pulled out “the book”.

“The book” is standard issue in some salons. It’s a binder that has pictures, in page protecters, evidently protect them from salon goo, of what the salon considers trendy hairstyles. It’s for people who don’t know what they want to look like, but they know they don’t want to look like they do now.

Like me.

I have many questions about “the book”. How do they pick the hairstyle pictures that are in it? There was one picture of Ellen Degeneres…do they have to pay her to use her picture? Is is a per binder or per picture view remuneration? Can all the stylists cut all of the hairstyle in “the book” or do they just have to get sorta close? Do they have a book for men or are the styles supposed to be unisex?

“The book” is kind of one size fits all. It doesn’t separate hairstyles for teenagers from Millennials from GenXer’s. And it sure doesn’t have a “mature” woman’s section. Or maybe the Ellen picture is the mature women’s section. I mean, she is over 55.

“What if I pick a style that won’t look good on me?”  I was kind of whining.

Like Yoda with an attitude she said, “I’ll tell you if it will look good on you or not.”  Then she flipped “the book” open to a page with a young blond with short hair and long bangs sweeping over to the side. “This would look good on you.”

I picked the Ellen picture.

“Do you want bangs as short as her’s?” she said with just the slightest blush of condescension in her voice.

I’ve heard that tone before. I could tell this was a warning. Like when you ask your neighbor, “Do you really want to vote for Donald Trump?”

“No”, I acquiesced. Evidently, this was the correct answer.

She flipped briskly back to the young blond with the long bangs and said, “Well then here’s what you’ll look like.”

I wanted to joke with her and tell her that, even in my youthful, pre-salt and pepper color prime, I could have never, ever looked like that. But she had sharp scissors in her hands. My self preservation instinct kicked in.

I was silent.

For those of you who don’t know this, when you wear glasses, they have to come off when you get a haircut. It’s some basic beauty school rule (do they still call it beauty school?) in Haircut 101 I guess. And because I’m terribly near sighted, I can never really see what’s happening. Oh, I hear the scissors snipping and the clippers clipping and the blow drying drying, but I’m not sure exactly what’s going on back there. Until it’s done.

And I’ve had some shocks in the past when the glasses went back on.

This time, it was a shock, but not a bad one.  I think…

It was short. Really short. But it looked good. I didn’t look any younger. Or like Ellen or the young blond. But it fulfilled my “slightly edgy” requirement and definitely updated my look from mature frump to progressive, urban matron.

When my stylist took a good gander at it, she said, “That really looks good on you!”  She sounded more surprised that I thought she should have sounded.

I’m getting used to it. I went from an earlobe length bob in the summer to a medium-short do in the fall to being scalped.

It’s winter and my ears are cold.

But I’m getting lots of compliments on it which is always encouraging. “It’s better to look good than have warm ears” I always say.

I wonder if she’ll try to talk me into getting a tramp tat next time? Not sure it would take that much convincing.  Kinda goes with the AGMA theme.

Stay tuned…

2/11/16   Since publishing this yesterday, there has been an outcry to see a picture of my new do.  Well, two people asked….  Here I am – sort of.   Hey – it’s an anonymous blog.  What did you expect?

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61 thoughts on “Of tramp tats and haircuts

  1. ROTFLMAO! I so relate to the whole being unable to see what’s going on! I hate going to a new stylist for the first time for that very reason. When I went to Selena for the first time I took a 10+ year old photo of me along so I could show her what I was trying to replicate. It helped me get much closer to what I wanted The First Time! Bravo for going edgy AGMA! And why aren’t you sharing a photo so we can see you in your glory?

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m with Janey on this one. I have to take my glasses off also, and I never know what exactly is going on. Of course the wonderful thing about being a man over 50 is that we no longer care how are our haircuts turn out. But you have given me an idea with the tramp look. I might go for the “mature gigolo” cut one of these days if I can find my gold Sagittarius chain. Great post as always, AGMA.

      Liked by 2 people

      • So funny on so many levels! My husband swears that he really does care how his hair looks after a haircut, but I’ve always been suspicious of that claim. Now I know the truth! He said it was just that he had to take his glasses off and couldn’t see….

        I LOVE the idea of a “mature gigolo” cut! I’m envisioning hair combed straight back off of the forehead with the back over the collar (if there’s enough hair on either end that is…) with lots and lots of “product” in it. Or Brycreem but with more than a little dab! It’ll do ya right up!

        Oh and while you’re digging out that gold chain, keep an eye out for the polyester/satin print shirt that only had buttons mid-chest and down!

        Thanks for the smiles and the compliment!

        Like

    • I was afraid you wouldn’t respect me in the morning…. But I relented and put a picture at the end of the post. I asked my stylist to take a picture so, if something happens to her or I move again or she pisses me off, I can do what you did!

      Now that I look at it, it’s not all that edgy after all, but it sure looks better than what I had. And it’s wayyyy easier to take care of so I’m going to call it a win!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You do have to plan for these excursions to the stylist or have one who can read your mind. (Eyes rolling). Lol.
    My problem was after long hair and short hair and on and on, interspersed with bad cuts and good cuts, I have found that I can cut my own hair! Granted I couldn’t cut it short in back but I get lots of compliments. Lol. Be prepared. (Were you a Girl Scout?) Lol. Sorry I am in playful mode.

    Liked by 1 person

    • WHAT??? You cut your hair yourself?? You have gone from loyal AGMA follower to a legend of heroic proportions (who is a loyal AGMA follower…) You’re like a Marvel comic superhero!

      Keeping my hair very short not only precludes me from trying to cut it myself, but assures me of spending a ridiculous amount of money every 5 weeks (I go to an urban salon here in Atlanta where it’s at least $25 just to walk in the door!) to get my regular dose of eye rolling! Clearly I have not planned well…

      Yes – I was a Girl Scout, but not a very good one. The only reason I wanted to be one was to get early access to the Thin Mints. And playful is awesome Joyful! Thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Well, I used to have hair past my shoulders. It was easy to trim then. As the weather got hot, I could cut off equal amounts all around from the ends up for a blunt cut. Then as I got older and wore my hair shorter, I observed how the beautician caught my hair vertically and pulled it out from my head for a layered look or a face framing do, if the hair was to be short. After I cut each side, I pull each side at the same place down on my face and be sure the ends reach the. Sam places on my face. Bangs are easiest cut at an angle and can be tricky. To cut the back I use a comb to pull up a horizontal section of hair, hold it straight up above my head and cut off about an inch, horizontally across. Then catch some hair under that and pull it up likewise. If the hair is short, you have a layered look. Holding the scissors at certain angles can make a difference too.
        Thank you, for the award. Lol

        Liked by 1 person

    • Oh Dandelion Buttons (I love saying that….), what an amazing, incredible compliment!! There’s something so special about having a fellow blogger giving you recognition that is unlike anything else! I’m humbled and very grateful!

      But I have to tell you that AGMA is horrible at these awards. I have good intentions, but never manage to follow the directions. I’m not good at following directions. I didn’t do well when I was in WP Blogging101… I’m kind of a remedial blogger. 🙂

      So that is all to say, PLEASE don’t think I am not thrilled with your nomination if I don’t follow through. I am tickled pink and can’t thank you enough! It’s just AGMA being AGMA. Forgive me…

      Liked by 1 person

      • There is a WP101? Awww snickerdoodles! I must have skipped write past that to writing terribly horrible stuff barely anyone reads. I think I am glad for that sometimes, but then sad that…well ya know sometimes we all need that validation. So consider yourself validated. And to be honest…I think I got through sending 5 of the fifteen notices…I will get to them eventually…maaaaybe.:)

        Liked by 1 person

      • “Awwww snicker doodles” is my new favorite phrase!! And honestly, nobody read my stuff until I got Freshly Pressed. It was actually traumatic in a way… I was pretty much writing for myself and a few other folks and the all of a sudden – WHOOSH!! I got really freaked out like I had to start writing really good, clever stuff as opposed to my normal AGMA stuff. Then I though, “Screw it. I’m going to just keep writing what I write and if they like it fine and if not, there are like 7 billion other blogs out there they can read.” It calmed me down (that and a couple shots of Jack Daniels.)

        So if you really enjoy blogging, don’t give up! I know that I’d still be doing it even if I still had only 12 followers because I’m really doing it for me. It’s an outlet that I really need no to mention that I amuse myself to no end… Ha!

        Thanks for reading AGMA and again for the wonderful honor!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh My AGMA, I just got done screwing up my hair in the bathroom. I’m hiding from the old man, and decided to slip quietly behind the computer to read so he could only see the back of my head, and this is what I read!! I am so pleased for YOU that you have a nice haircut! I look like $hi! at the moment, but I am still so pleased for you, looking like an urban matron and all! A fun timely post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh that’s funny! Happy to be there in the nick of time!

      That’s how I felt when I had my little ear length bob – it was always 50-50 that it was going to look like crap. The only time I got it to look really good was when I fiddled with it for like 20 minutes which I HATE doing. And there were no guarantees that, at the end of 20 minutes, it would look good. Then, God forbid if it was windy outside…

      Did the “old man” ever discover the hair folly? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. LOL! I live in a weird reverse of this situation where my 70+ mother-in-law is the ‘trendy’ hair stylist (live in argh) and I am the frumpsicle who gets tuts and eye-rolls whenever it’s haircut time. Yes, I should just go back to a salon but OMG the repercussions!! Again, such a good read!! X

    Liked by 1 person

    • Whoa! You are really stuck between a rock and a hard place… So is your “live-in” MIL really a trendy hair stylist? Or were you rolling your eyes when you typed that? 🙂 Does she give you granny hair? I just have so many questions around this situation… But I certainly can understand the repercussions if you want to go elsewhere. Yikes! Can she do a razor cut? That seems to be a highly specialize type of cut that stylists have to have training to do. Maybe you can tell her you want a razor cut. Or anything else that she maybe can’t do!

      Thanks so much for visiting with AGMA and for you’re sweet compliment! And let me know how the MIL thing works out….

      Like

    • You too?? Joyful2bee cuts her own hair as well! You two are amazing, Marvel Super Hero types! Bravo!

      This is a consideration that never entered my gray cells, but with uber short hair, I’m pretty sure I couldn’t pull it off. Maybe it was the trauma of cutting my own hair when it was like 6 years old and the fuss that my mother made about it. I really didn’t do a good job as the hairdresser she rushed me off to told me…

      Like

    • Thanks! Picture (due to overwhelming demand – 5 people asked…) is attached at the end of the post. Fair warning – I’m faceless. I kind of like that look. No fussing with make-up. 🙂

      I tried Pinterest once or twice a couple of years ago, but I didn’t “get” it. I have a fairly short attention span so I didn’t really go back. Time for a revisit maybe?

      Maybe your mom could do the current Jane Fonda hair, but go with the younger Jane Fonda Barbarella wardrobe. Now THAT would be edgy!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ve been keeping my hair short for years and love it!! Im actually wayyyy over do,,once it starts growing a little over my ears and I can actually touch and pull the backs it’s to long! And I’ve got the tramp stamp and wear it proudly!!! 😄 post a pic of you new do!!’

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Your post really resonated with me! I’m in my mid-40s and the number of haircut disasters I’ve experienced of late is far more devastating than the growing number of birthdays I’ve had or the fact that my natural hair colour has packed its bags and left the building. I also want to have edgy hair, especially now it’s silver, but hairdressers (average age 17) take one look at me and I see the word ‘old’ reflected in their eyes. I had one haircut that was exactly the same as my grandmother’s – and nothing like the photo I’d taken in. It find it so depressing, I’ve ended up growing it out.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh Sarah – I’m sorry you got the granny do! Since I moved back to Atlanta in 2012, I’ve gone through like 6 stylists until I found this one. She’s the most expensive (of course…), but she gives a great cut. We had a couple of false starts after the first few appointments, but I think the light flipped on for her when she saw how adorbs I looked in the short n sassy she gave me. The other ones wanted to give me the granny cut.

      So do you like your long hair? Honestly, I worked for year trying to grow all of the short layers out and it needed more tending and trimming than when it was short. I guess once you make it past a certain length, it’s not as much of a pain to deal with.

      I don’t color my hair so I have salt n pepper hair that my stylist calls “natural highlights”! Gotta love it!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I tend to tie my hair back, so it’s easy now it’s longer, but not edgy *sigh* I am tempted to dip dye it light turquoise or eau de nil though, that could be ‘interesting’! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

    • You, my friend, are an enlightened male! But it’s not just men. I have friends – women – from college (mid-1970’s) who are still wearing their hair EXACTLY like it was in college. Huh? How does that happen? They were all shocked when, after 30 years of not seeing each other, we all got together and I had short hair. I didn’t tell them the various lengths and styles I’ve been through over the years. Of course, I was always the rebel… 🙂

      Like

    • You don’t have a face either??

      Actually, I have been looking for you all my life!!! I knew there was some “connection”. So there’s a few years between us, but not that many really. Cool and funky knows no age… Just ask the Donald! 😉

      Like

    • Thanks much!! Now that I’ve had a chance to get used to it and work with it, it looks even better (if I do say so myself…) I use this “hair mud” stuff that’s actually a man’s product – it’s awesome and I can REALLY get an edgy look if I want. But I don’t have the wardrobe to match… It’s important to have the threads to go with the hair. Wouldn’t have the same impact if I was wearing my baggy jeans and sneakers!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Looks fantastic! Even better–I’ll bet it is EASY.

    So, I was reading this on my phone, waiting for my zumba class to begin. I got to this sentence and before I could scroll further, I paused. Slightly in shock, because I thought “my tattoo covered, septal cartilage” was referring to YOU. Well, you did use the pronoun “MY”.
    If those HAD been your adjectives, I would definitely been convinced that you were taking AGMA very seriously!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m taking that has a challenge…

      But I honestly don’t think I could get my nasal septum pierced. That’s gotta hurt. And then when you get a cold, your nasal “jewelry” gets all crusty with snot and you just can’t get a good grip on your nose to blow it. I see too many pitfalls and I’m way too practical (translation = boring) for that.

      But I have to say I’m flattered that you think I’d have the peaches to do that! So I’ve got that going for me…

      And the hair IS easy. And it’s been two weeks and I just seem to keep getting funkier! I think I’ve found a winner!

      Now for the ink… Maybe I’ll throw it out to AGMA’s reader for suggestions as to what kind of tat to get. That should be a fun post! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  8. I am proud and happy to be able to say that I am old, even if I’m only presently approaching 61 with a plan to live till at least 90. I own my opening statement and, to use a gambling term you may recognize from your time at the blackjack tables, double down by sporting a short and therefore easy to maintain haircut. I maintain this (ageless?) look by springing for the cut and color with my expensive (still a relative bargain at $55) stylist every 12 weeks with an interim visit to one of the cheaper chains aka haircut factories. This routine was established after negotiations with Spouse, who cuts his own hair which I used to notice only when I dumped the bag of his excess (and I use that term very loosely) hair with the rest of his trash. Like most men, who don’t appreciate what a pain that long hair they so love can be to maintain or to enjoy, especially in hot and sticky Southern summers, he harangued me often over our 26 years together, to wear it long. I humored him sporadically but we reached the above-described arrangement since he dislikes gray hair more than short hair, and I kept threatening to let it go gray. Win-win, right?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Absolute win-win! I love the negotiations involved…

      And $55 for a cut and color?? Holy smoleans, that’s reasonable! I won’t tell you what I pay for a cut – I’d hear you laughing all the way to Peachtree Street!

      I’m fascinated that your husband cuts his own hair. How is that possible unless he wears it long (which he might?) I’m guessing that if you find wads of hair in the trash, it probably is…. Is his hair gray?

      Inquiring minds want to know!

      Like

    • And nearly 5 weeks into the cut growing out, it’s still easy to work with and still looks good! And it is even! I think I’m still loving it!

      I did have a cut back in 2012 from some really posh guy who owns a salon in one of the most expensive, exclusive hotel in Atlanta. I had won a GC for it from a silent auction so the $$ went to charity. Despite all the frufru and snottiness of the people there, he gave me the most amazing cut I’ve ever had. At the time, his normal cuts were $110. I recently looked at his website and his cuts are up to $250! Talk about inflation…!

      Like

  9. Pingback: Ink me! | Aging Gracefully My Ass

  10. Your story reminds me of all the times that the stylists just did what they wanted and I had more than one episode where I walked out to my car and cried. But I put an end to the vicious cycle when I let my then new boyfriend, now husband give me a haircut in his kitchen. He did a great job and he has been my personal stylist ever since. When I started seeing greys, I advised him colorist fails under the responsibilities of being my stylist. So now he does my color with henna. I get great results; color, shine and it leaves my hair silky soft. I have people stop me to compliment my color and ask where I had it done. I don’t have to deal with the hassles of the salon, haircuts are free, color under $40 a year, and he braids my hair for me. It is about waist length but I want to let it grow longer

    Liked by 2 people

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