It’s Tuesday. Tuesday is the day I go to my favorite coffee shop to write. And eavesdrop. Just kidding. Sort of.
I’m at the coffee shop, but my mind is empty. More than the normal empty that is. Writers block I think. Or something else.
I have a few ideas for some “truth is stranger than fiction” posts, but just can’t muster up the energy to write something that would be AGMA witty and amusing. My head is engaged but my heart isn’t. And isn’t that were the good writing actually comes from – the heart?
Sometimes things happen that really gets your attention. Gets you off balance. Causes you to pause and step back. To re-evaluate some long held truth – an absolute, if you will – that, as it turns out, isn’t really true or absolute.
Yeah – even at this “mature” stage of life, you can get knocked off your feet for a spell.
I guess you expect it to happen when you’re young and not wise in the ways of the world and clueless. Basically, stupid. No offense meant to you younger readers who, by virtue of spending time with AGMA, prove that you are the exceptions to to the stupid paradigm of youth. I sound like a politician.
So many beliefs we hold in our younger years turn out to be unrealistic romantic fiction we create in our heads. And it’s usually very painful when those beliefs are exposed for the illusions they are. It always happens sooner or later… Ouch.
In some ways, aging is awesome because you generally leave those self-created, illusions behind. But not always.
So, to help me get my balance again, I deactivated my Facebook account.
Yeah – that’s right…I swore off Facebook. Temporarily.
I know this sounds pretty lame to a lot of your but, for me, this is a pretty big deal. I needed to do something immediately to make a change in my daily routine. Something to get my attention. Make me “squirm” a little.
There are so many old friends I keep up with on Facebook; I thoroughly enjoy it. I like the social networking aspect of FB. It’s also kind of haven for me when things might not be going so well – it’s like Pooh’s Hundred Acre Wood. With trolls.
Other than not missing the crazy Tea Party ranting some of my “friends” post and my MIL’s crazy posts, not being on Facebook is kind of a big deal for me.
And that’s good.
If you have to navigate a new passage to the True North of life, it’s good to not anesthetize your brain with the monotony of routine. It’s good to shake things up. It’s good to stare life and it’s challenges in the face rather than escape into a virtual cocoon of unreality. And Candy Crush Saga.
I have to say that it’s mildly difficult and I’m not sure how long my resolve will last. I’m shooting for a week.
But honestly, it’s not as nearly difficult as I thought it might be. Do I really need to know when my friend in Iowa takes her dogs for a walk. Or that my vacationing friend went to see the the largest ball of twine in Kansas. Or that Susan, once again, ad nauseam, thinks Obama is a radical Islamic communist (is that even possible?)
I don’t need to know any of that stuff.
Life feels less hectic. Less frenetic. Less ADHD. My mind is more focused and I’m getting more things done on my “to do” list. And I’m re-balancing. Re-centering. Adjusting to a new reality in one of the most important relationships in my life. And the experience of age tells me that I’m going to be okay. The relationship is going to be okay.
I like that about getting older – you tend to be more anchored than when you’re young. Even though you might not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, you know it’s there. Waiting for you.
This time next week, I’ll be back here in my coffee shop, eaves-dropping like crazy and writing about wishing I hadn’t reactivated my FB account.
I’m really looking forward to it.