A star is Photoshopped

vintage-movie-posters-miss-kris-oscars

Lots of movies have been filmed the Atlanta area since 2008 because of lucrative tax incentives for the film industry in Georgia.  Being a responsible blogger, AGMA tried to find out exactly how many movies.  Google was taking way more than three seconds trying to figure it out.  So “lots” is as good as you’re going to get.

Three of the Hunger Games movies, X-Men First Class, Water for Elephants, Anchor Man 3, all Tyler Perry movies, the new Ant-Man and my personal favorite, Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies, are just a few of blockbusters filmed in the land of shrimp and grits.  It’s enough for the Atlanta area to now have the nickname “Hollywood of the South”.  Bless our little hearts y’all…

AGMA lives, loves and blogs in Atlanta.

The film industry has really ramped things up here in the last three years.  Massive production studios are being built.  Professionals in the film industry are relocating from California.  How ‘bout a little culture shock with that sweet tea, darlin’?

Hollywood acting wannabes are moving here hoping for less competition for parts.  In many cases demand for support jobs are outstripping supply.  If you’re “digital data wrangler”, whatever that is, evidently you’ve got it made…

It’s become really common to see the unique yellow signs on local roads directing the “movie folk” to sets.  One of these days I’m going to follow one of the “CREW” signs and see what happens.  I usually can always avoid arrest with the “addled senior” routine…

But I’m getting the fever.  I have a new quest.

AGMA wants to be in the movies.

I’ve managed to fight the lure of Hollywood for 61 years although I’ve always been a starry-eyed movie fan.  I’ve resisted hanging out at the St. Regis Hotel – the hotel of the stars in the Buckhead area of Altanta – hoping for a glimpse of Robert Redford or Paul Rudd.  AGMA hasn’t been loitering around the trendy bars and restaurants that are reporting constant “star sightings”.   Because I would just fit in those trendy places so well…

I think the bobby socks, saddles shoes, autograph book and feather pen are dead giveaways in the “not trendy” category.

But a new wind is blowing up Peachtree.  Pick any one of the 71 streets with the name Peachtree in it in Atlanta.  Seriously.

A new movie started filming a few weeks ago that makes all the difference; breaks down all my resolve.

Captain America: Civil War.

Some of you may remember AGMA’s post after I saw Captain America: The Winter Soldier.  I’m a serious Captain American fan.  And Chris Evans fan.  My kids are his age.  I’m so ashamed…

But this movie brings together most of the Avengers so not only is Chris Evans here, but Scarlett Johansson, Robert Downey Jr., Anthony Mackie, Emily Van Camp, Jeremy Renner, Don Cheadle, Sebastian Stan and more.   I mean seriously – you just know Samuel L Jackson has to show up as Nick Fury at some point too, screaming at everybody about what’s in their wallets.

Be still my semi-arterially clogged heart…

They’ve had some open extra calls.  One was for “high class individuals” like you would find at a gala fundraiser for the 1%.   Since I can’t remember the last time I put on a dress and heels – probably my son’s wedding in 2010 – I didn’t think that would fly.  I saw another one for an African market scene they were doing this week.  Since I’m coming out of this past winter as pasty white as a Beluga whale – with a similar girth – I thought I’d pass on that as well.

They seem to want a picture of you when you apply for these extra calls.  WTF? Actually two – a head shot and a shot from the waist up.  Sick bastards.  But it could be a problem when they actually see what I look like.  Salt and pepper Little Dutch Boy hair, glasses, a neck waddle, those jowly things on my jaw, an ample, gravity-abused bosom, a bit too much around the mid-section…  I wonder if they accept Photoshopped selfies?

But it’s a risk AGMA’s willing to take.  I gotta get on that set.

I know this probably isn’t fair to other’s who might also be applying, but I might have to drop the magic words.  Unfair I know, but I really, really want to have my fifteen minutes of movie magic fame.  I’d actually settle for ten seconds. These words have been know to open doors that were bolted and locked with rusted locks and no key.

“I’m a massage therapist.”

Open sesame!

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18 thoughts on “A star is Photoshopped

  1. Boy, Atlanta sure has changed since I lived there in 1973-75! Well, actually I lived in Jonesboro, which I’m sure is now not even its own entity.

    You should definitely do it! I would go with you if I lived there. I’ve always wanted to be an extra. They’ve been filming a few movies in and around Cincinnati lately, because, apparently it has a bit of a NYC look about it. I get that the filmmakers get huge tax incentives there, but I don’t get that it can pass for NYC. Still too far for me to commute there, though.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I think Atlanta is a different world that it was in the early 70’s! People say it’s totally different than it was in the 90’s even.

      Funny, I was in my favorite coffee shop today and started talking to two guys who were talking about their latest movie project. I gave them my card… We’ll see what happens. 🙂

      And I lived in Cincinnati for 30 years. I guess I can kind of see some spots looking like NYC. Sort of…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You are a scream, Dahlin! I grew up in Greenville, SC and have always lived in the South. I now reside near Raleigh NC. I love your sense of humor and can empathize with the weirdness of drooling over men young enough to be my sons! But we older gals, also have to have our dreams and heroes too. Capt. America looks and acts like purity, bravery, unselfish dedication to humanity and just pure T all round goodness. That’s just what I want in a man!!
    Good luck with getting a part. I don’t want to make you feel bad, but I would recommend at the age you seem to be you might ought to try out for one of those Aunt Pittypat roles and be a grand dame of the South. I am sure you would represent us older Southern Belles wonderfully and do us proud! (I am almost 64.)

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for understanding, Joyful, about the whole cougar and Captain America thing… 🙂 My kids would have a fit if they knew! They’re Chris Evan’s age. Yikes!

      I have to confess that I’m not from the South. Like so many in Altanta, I’m a transplanted Yankee. But my step-mother was from West Virginia & Kentucky so she taught me well. So I could totally do a Pittypat! Bless your little heart…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Why, Honey, you have nothin to worry about. I always told my husband , “I don’t care where you get your appetite as long as you come home for dinner.” This of course did not apply to anyone under an appropriate age and he knew that. Wanting ain’t getting also applies. Lol Keep on dreaming, Sweetie!

        Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the cheer!! Rah rah! I just need to stay in town for a hot minute or two so I can be “discovered”. Ha!

      There’s actually a movie filming on location for a couple of days across the street from where I live! Michael Keaton’s in it, but no sightings yet… But the catering operation is like a 1 minute walk from my house. To hell with Michael Keaton – maybe I should try to be a movie set crasher to get some good chow?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, I once lived in a town where Martha Stewart was shooting a commercial and during my work day I had to pass the set. The food that they had spread out each day…catered in…was amazing to me. Definitely worth being a set crasher!

        Liked by 1 person

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