My last __________ (fill in the blank)


We got new bedroom furniture last month.  Our first set dates back to 1976.  Yeah – I’d say we got our money’s worth out of that furniture…

Actually, the only piece from that original set we still own is a nightstand.  The rest abandoned us over the years.

Everything else in our bedroom before last month was rather a la carte.  An antique oak chest of drawers and dresser that we used in our children’s nursery in the early 80’s.  A two year old fabric headboard from Tuesday Morning.  A chair from our early 90‘s living room set.  A computer desk from the pre-laptop era.

Martha Stewart would be horrified.

I got a wild hair after Christmas and decided I didn’t want the “college student” motif anymore.  The only thing we were missing was the cinder block and unfinished board bookshelves.  My husband, who doesn’t even notice that we have bedroom furniture, miraculously agreed.  What a guy…

Now I know that there are BIG problems in this world, the least of them being whether or not I have a matching bedroom set.  And I kind of feel guilty about that.  I hate spending money on such highly personal indulgences.  But I did order it from Costco sight unseen.

That’s got to balance out the karma somehow.

Of course, the spending didn’t stop at the furniture.  We had to buy all new bedding to go with our fancy new, matching furniture.  Naturally.

And my husband insisted on new pillows.  He drools when he sleeps.  A lot.  Gross.  I put his nasty old pillow in the trash this morning.

The last thing to check off the list of wild, unbridled, post-holiday spending – a new mattress.  Of course.

Have you been mattress shopping lately?

Once upon a time, your only mattress choices were between how many coils you wanted and the firmness.  Oh yeah, and there were waterbeds too.   But….seriously?  I never thought I had a robust enough sex life for a waterbed.  Plus I was always afraid I’d flood the house.  And electrocute myself.

Today, there are hundreds of mattress choices.  Cool foam, warm foam, firm gel, mushy gel, cold air, hot air, water pockets, traditional coil, bamboo “green” non-toxic, and countless hybrids of all of the above.

Another Chinese plot to bring down the US?

We seriously considered a newfangled foam/gel mattress.  But I had nightmares of sinking down into the foam until it swallowed me up and you couldn’t even see my imprint.  I think there was a Twilight Zone with a plot like that.  With people with pig faces.  Scary.

At the mattress store, my husband told the salesman that this would probably be our “last “ mattress.

Whoa now buddy!  What the heck….  What’s all this ”last” mattress talk??   As in “last” mattress in the house we’re currently living in (meaning we’ll be moving?)  Or “last” traditional mattress we buy?  No, I’m pretty sure he meant “last” as in last before we die.

D-I-E.   What the hell?

Speak for yourself.

The mattress we just retired was 13 years old.  I’m 61 years old.  Our new mattress (NOT foam/gel) has a 10 year warranty.  That puts me at 71.  Yeah – I think I’m probably good for at least one more mattress after this one.

Maybe my husband is trying to tell me something.

But it got me thinking…  I’m pretty sure this will be our last set of bedroom furniture. And our washer and dryer are about 20 years old.  When we replace them, I’m certain they will be our last as well.  It’s strange – it just seems like yesterday we were buying our “first”.

Time flies when you’re having fun.

Maybe this will be our “last” mattress.  Nothing medically would indicate that, but you just never know.  None of us do, even you younger sprites.  Happy thought indeed…

Personally, I’m still looking forward to all the “firsts” that are still out there.  First trip to India, first zipline in a rainforest, first sub-six hour marathon, first hug from my grandson, first appearance on Ellen, first movie deal from AGMA…

Okay – maybe a few of them are a stretch.

But it’s what AGMA’s all about; big dreams no matter how many candles are on your birthday cake.

I just want mine to be dark chocolate with buttercream icing!

36 thoughts on “My last __________ (fill in the blank)

  1. Hope you will go out there and do all the ‘firsts’ still waiting for you. And you are right, it should not be your ‘last’ mattress… with a 10 year warranty there should be at least 1 – 2 more…


      • Trust me – I didn’t put up a fuss at all when he said he wanted a new one! But pillows are a whole other blog post. There are literally hundreds of those to chose from as well! I made him got shopping for it. Of course we got it at Costco!

        And thanks – many more “firsts” to you as well JaneyDoe!


    • Didn’t EVERYBODY have a cinder block/board bookshelf? Your’s sounded extra cool. OMG, I just went onto Pinterest and there is a bunch of stuff on how to go upscale with a cinder block bookshelf…. I might have to revisit that decorating idea. Ha!


      • I know. Tempting, isn’t it? I actually considered building one in my current living room – but I don’t have the energy to go get those cinder blocks and bring them home. For some reason, that didn’t bother me when I was 20 and didn’t even have a car.

        Liked by 1 person

    • And THAT is a good last! Thanks for bringing that up actually… There can be good “lasts” and not so good “firsts” too. But my post was just getting way too long to go there. New post maybe?

      I love the idea of looking ahead so you can’t see what’s might be trying to catch you! Thanks for sharing your wisdom!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh AGMA! I always LOVE your posts. Your writing and humor is so refreshing! And FYI just because one set lasted since 1976 does NOT guarantee a new one will last as long. Ok – this is going to make me sound really old – but things just are not made like the used to. They just don’t build things to last like that anymore. Our first couch was my Grandma’s after she used it for 10+ years and we used for another 10. We’ve bought countless since then, including one a year and a half ago that already needs repaired and has lost it’s umph! I wonder if this is my excuse for the fact that we spend more time ON the couch than ever before. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jodi!! I thought you’d abandoned AGMA because your blog is doing so well and keeping you too busy (which is a good thing!) Thanks for stopping by again!

      You’re right – that first bedroom set could have survived a nuclear blast! After the dust cloud cleared, nothing but cockroaches and my mid-70’s bedroom left. I moved the nightstand out when the new stuff came and,even with the drawers out, I could barely lift it! All real wood through and through. I just hope the other pieces who abandoned us found a good home…

      I’ve had very good luck with Rowe Furniture. It’s custom, but no more expensive than the run of the mill furniture store. At least it wasn’t 8 years ago… You just have to wait until they make to your specs so there’s no instant gratification if you want it by next weekend. I have 2 couches (one’s a sectional) and 2 chairs (one with an ottoman) and they are very well made. The BIG test will be the grandson test when and if he ever comes to visit! Ha!

      So happy to hear from you Jodi and I’m glad I’m still giving you a smile! 🙂


      • Oh AGMA – I love your posts – and am FAR from “doing too well” on my blog – silly! I was on vacation 2 weeks ago and then I’ve been busy with my full-time work (and trying to exercise to lose some weight – so a little less time sitting and on my computer)- and it seems I must have missed a few of your posts. But honestly, your blog is one of my FAVORITES. So sorry I’ve missed some of it! By the time I get through my work day, exercise, cooking, my blog… Oh brother – now I sound like a whiner – LOL! Anyway – thank you for the sweet note. Hope your grandson comes and tests out that couch. I’m sure it will be worth any abuse it takes!


      • Don’t you just love it when I whine about not hearing from you then I drop of the planet for like 10 days? So I get it Jodi…life definitely gets in the way of reading your favorite bloggers! I hate that. I mean really hate that. Well – I took my Personal Trainer test this week so I don’t have to spend every waking moment studying or feeling guilty about not studying. Guilt is a powerful time-waster sometimes… Oh yeah – I passed. If you have time, look for the details (AGMA style of course!) on my next post. Or go exercise. I think I might rather encourage the exercise! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. So, if mattresses have warranties of ten years, and the “experts” tell us that, really, they should be replaced every eight years, because of all the dander, sweat, and dead skin that they accumulate in that length of time, making them weigh like twice what they did when they were new, but the sales person tells you it will be your “last” mattress, because it’s such a wonderful, well-made one, and obviously, you’re going to be around a lot longer than ten years, who’s lying? (That’s probably the longest, most convoluted sentence I’ve ever written, but I like it, and I’m stickin’ with it. 😉 ) I’m guessing it’s the lying salesman. Although we’ve had our set for 14+ years, and it’s still going strong. Don’t those sweaty, dander-laden, flaky-skinned people ever use a good mattress pad? It extends the life of your mattress by umpteen years. Mine is as pristine as the day they delivered it. Well, maybe not pristine, but pretty darned good.

    The best living room furniture we ever bought is now being used by my ex daughter-in-law. We bought it in 1989, and except for a seam that needs to be sewn back up on the back of the couch, it’s in remarkably good condition. Even the fabric is in good shape, and believe me, she doesn’t take care of it, and neither did my son when they were together. The kids use it for everything, including as a napkin, if one isn’t handy. I’ve had four sets since then, and none of them have been worth shit. We bought a new sectional for this new house, and paid a shitload of money for it, because the hubs did the research, and supposedly this is the best one. We’ve had it six months, and the fabric is already pilling on the cording, and one of the cushions is flattening.

    We had a waterbed. I hated the damned thing, and most of the time we had to be conjugal on the floor, because it was just weird on the waterbed. Do they even still make them?

    Liked by 1 person

    • They make fancy waterbeds now that have water chambers and they’re all gussied up and don’t look at all like the old ones… We got one (a traditional one) for my son when he was in high school in the late 90’s. I was terrified the cats would rip a hole in it and all the water would gush down from the 2nd floor to the 1st floor and into the basement, and destroy our floors and ceilings. Or some night the heater would malfunction and in the morning I would find my son fried to a crisp. We made it through with no disasters and I got to get rid of the darned thing when he was in college!

      And it was my HUSBAND who said this would be our last mattress! All the salesman said was the one we picked out had a 10 year warranty. He wasn’t going to touch that “last” statement my husband made with a 10 foot pole… We did buy a fancy mattress pad cover that I’m sure will keep this new one in tip top shape so theoritically this could be our “last” if it extends the life by an extra 20 years. Ha!

      And I loved that first, amazingly convoluted sentence! I think you set a record of some sorts… Let’s call the Guinness folks!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Haha! I should read more carefully. I’m still standing by my statement that salesmen are liars, at least for the most part. Maybe not bold, bald-faced lying, but at least lies by omission of truth.

        I think there’s some annual contest for longest run-on sentences. Maybe I should enter that. LOL


  4. Every time I throw my leg over my Harley I think to myself, “This could be my last…”
    Then I kick up the stand and go!
    Of the past I’m certain.
    Of the present I’m not sure.
    Of the future I have no control.
    Lets ride! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh my God, you make me want to go out and buy a bike! And I have never, ever ridden on one let alone driven one, but it just sounds so cool and liberating… Another first to look forward to maybe?

      A friend of mine’s husband rode his bike from San Francisco (CA) back home to Cincinnati (Ohio), a distance of 2,384 miles (3837 km)! She said he loved it!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I dont know anyone whose put their hands up loud and proud that they have a waterbed. Waterbeds are those strange things that are best left out of conversation yet I am damn sure people will still think.. 1) how do you have sex on a waterbed 2) What if you get motion sickness 3) or even spring a leak how in gods name do you find that leak and stop it flooding out your entire house. 😀


  6. Okay I admit your mattress musings made me laugh out loud but you had my “follow” at your blog title. I am looking forward to hanging out with you and cracking up regularly. No pressure, though.


    • Awww…thank you! It’s funny – my blog name just came to me one day waaaayyy before I even started of thinking of writing one. The name just popped into my head and I thought, “Hmmm – that would be an awesome name for a blog if I was ever to start writing about my slightly off kilter life.” Divine inspiration perhaps?

      OMG – I just looked at the name of your blog and now I have to go check it out! I see so much possibility in that name…

      There IS pressure. I have far more followers than I EVER thought I would and even though probably 80% of them are like robots or Nigerian princes wanting me to send them money, I really don’t want to disappoint the other 20% who might actually read what I write. But then again, everyday life – especially my life – tends toward the absurd and it seems like there’s always something funny to write about. But I only post once a week (if I’m lucky…) If I was to post daily, I’d run out of gas pretty quickly.

      Thanks again Debby and I can’t wait to read about the family crypt!


  7. I went mattress shopping last year after many, many years … got so overwhelmed I can’t remember what I finally chose, except it isn’t thermo-anything. It’s ok, but I don’t find that I sleep any better … Good luck with all your new stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

    • What a compliment to send my post onto a friend! Thanks!

      Off to Ireland again at the end of the month. I love me my Guinness! Where are you off to next? I have friends (older women in their late 60’s/early 70’s) who are planning a 29 day trip to Nepal and Tibet in September. Now THAT’S a trip!


    • Oh Shrestha, you are going to grow more awesome! Not that you aren’t awesome now, but the tenor and tone of the awesomeness changes as you get older. There are always new things to learn, new places to go and new experiences have no matter what your biological age is. Just take care of your body now so that you can be healthy enough to do all that wonderful stuff when you’re aging gracefully (my ass!) Thanks for stopping by and commenting!


  8. Pingback: What’s your number? | Aging Gracefully My Ass

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