My very bad, terrible, wonderful, magical Christmas


Well…I didn’t expect that.

I didn’t expect that two weeks would go by without me posting a thing.  But it was a long week last week.  Crazy.

Do you want the good news or the bad news first?  If you’re a glass half-empty person like me, you want the bad news first.  Half-empties always want the bad news first.  The bad news is always going to be much worse on bad news scale from 1 to 10 than the good news is going to be good on the good news scale from 1 to 10. So it just makes sense to get the bad news first, wallow in the misery and get it over with.  Got it?  It’s just how we roll…

But this time I’ll give you the good news first.

I’m a Grandma!

My son’s wife delivered a truly beautiful, albeit alien-looking, little boy a few days before Christmas in Chicago.  All newborns have that ET look about them don’t they?  Mother and son are doing fine.  My son is positively euphoric.  That’s nice to see.

The little guy was late.  Hmmm – I hope he doesn’t make this a habit.  But this was more good news for us because we were able to be there for the birth.  Well, not actually in the room.  Yuck.  But close by.  We had flown up a few days earlier and our younger son got there that morning, just in the nick of time.

Funny story that; I was actually a bit “under the influence” when he was born.  Although I was convinced that he was going to make his appearance the same day my DIL went into labor, everybody else poo poo-ed me.  “Poo poo,” they said, “she won’t have him until tomorrow morning.”  So they sent us all home.  Or in our case, back to our hotel.

More about the hotel later…

Knowing that a baby was coming sooner or later, the three of us celebrated with a few glasses of Champagne.  Okay – not REAL Champagne, but close enough.  It had bubbles.

Wouldn’t you know it, after I downed my third glass, I got a text that she was pushing.  The next text told us to high-tail it over to the hospital.  I don’t like to say I told you so, but…  I hate it that I’m most always right.

Thirty minutes later, I officially became a grandma.  A somewhat tipsy grandma.  It pains me to think that every time the little guy catches a whiff of the scent of alcohol he may have flashbacks to me breathing in his face saying “Hi little guy!” in slightly slurred speech. True story.  I’m kind of a cheap drunk.

Now for the bad news.  Our trip to Chicago was six days of non-stop family.  Her family and our family.  Nonstop.  I like family and all but, seriously?

Since my blog is anonymous, and my family and extended family doesn’t know about it (thank God!), I couldn’t write anything.  It seemed like people were always around me.  Or I was sleeping.  Too much togetherness; I like and need my alone time.  Honestly, the only time I was truly by myself was in the bathroom.  I’m not inspired to write while I’m in the bathroom.  At least not about stuff you’d want to read.

So I couldn’t write any posts last week.  Frowny face.

The other bad news.  We weren’t allowed to stay with my son and DIL, so we stayed in a hotel the entire time.  And even though they came into town the same day we did, her parents were allowed stayed at my son’s place.  What the hell?  They did have to move on Christmas day.  They went to stay with their other daughter who lives about mile away who has two extra bedrooms.  She lived a mile away all along and had extra bedrooms all along.  But we were in a hotel.  We just love being the guy’s parents….

I’ve decided that spending Christmas in a hotel sucks.  My son and DIL brought the baby home on Christmas day, so everybody else was “on hold” until the new family felt somewhat settled.  This didn’t happen until 7 PM Christmas evening.

So on Christmas day, we wasted time.  We went to Starbucks for brunch and coffee.  We went to a movie.  We hung around the hotel room.  We went to dinner at a Thai restaurant.  It was definitely an unconventional Christmas.

For six days, it was non-stop family togetherness, and hurry up and wait.  I don’t do either of those very well.  Clearly.

But I have a picture of the little guy as the wallpaper on my phone and I say hi to him every time I turn the screen on.  Honestly, I hate to sound like a cliche, but it kind of melts my heart every time I see his sweet, alien-like face.  I never thought I’d be excited to travel to Chicago in the middle of winter, but I can’t wait to go back to see him at the end of January.

Okay, so this time the good news outweighed the bad news for this glass half-empty Grinch.  I give it a 10 on the good news scale. Screw the bad news.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays a little late!

25 thoughts on “My very bad, terrible, wonderful, magical Christmas

  1. Congrats on your grandson! My youngest was late also and he came out alien looking as well. We blamed it on him cooking for too long in the oven of the womb. I live in Chicago and yes, it’s not where you want to be in the middle of winter.
    Very funny post!


    • Glad you enjoyed it! Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction… And thanks for the congrats! I’ll never forget the winter I went to Chicago to help my son look for his first condo. I think it was early 2007 or 2008. The WHOLE weekend I was there, the temps never got above zero F! I mean, when it got up to -3 during the day, that was “warm”. It was pretty miserable getting in and out of the realtors car, and a couple of times, we ran across frozen locks. Delightful… Bundle up!


  2. Congratulations on your new grandson! Regardless of whether he is your first or one of many, enjoy every single minute you can get with him. Loved this post!


    • Promise….? 🙂 I’m just wondering how many visits we can make up there before we get them really pissed off with me. I guess they can always ban us back to a hotel (and they are $$$ in Chicago!) Thanks much for your congrats and Happy New Year Flip!


  3. Congratulations on your grandson! I can tell you from experience that none of mine were planned, but all were welcomed with open arms, and they’re the apples of our eyes. We’re having so much fun with the last one (who lives with us along with his two brothers and sister), that I can’t ever imagine not having had him to make us laugh and melt with love whenever we hold him. I predict that you’ll be making lots of trips to Chicago in the years to come. 🙂


  4. How smart to blog anonymously. Too late for that for me.

    After reading your post I realized,also too late–I shoulda had a daughter. That’s the bad news. The good news–I won’t complain that our son loves the west coast and probably will permanently settle out here. At least if we get kicked to the local hotel, the odds are good it will have a great wine bar in it, so I can follow your example when/if the magical time arises.
    Loved this post.


    • Okay – I’m gonna plant this seed… It’s not too late to start ANOTHER blog. A Mr. Hyde to your Dr. Jeckyll so to speak. Nobody has to know and you can say whatever you want. Very liberating. Just think about it… And I’ll join you in that wine bar – good wine makes everything better! And speaking of good wine, did I mention I’m going to Rome next week?


      • Probably not unless something really cool happens like I bump into the Pope in St. Peters… I’m pretty sure if I tried to write a travel blog, it would turn out a little like my “what I did on my summer vacation” papers we were FORCED to write every September when we went back to school. ZZZZzzzz…. But you never know – stay tuned! 😉

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