Announcing a new stablemate for AgingGracefully

GrandmaCool

Next month, I start a new job.  It’ll be a something totally new that I’ve never, ever done before.  I’ll be navigating unfamiliar and possibly treacherous waters.

I’m going to become a grandma for the first time.

To most, receiving the joyous news from your precious son or daughter that a grand-baby is on the way would be an intoxicating experience.  After my son told us, I just felt like getting intoxicated. Or downright drunk.

First of all, we were almost the last of the “important people to tell” to know.  Actually, we were the last.  My daughter-in-law was damned near 5 months pregnant and all popped out when they told us!  She wore a very loose shirt when we arrived…  All of their close friends, co-workers and HER family knew weeks before were were privileged to receive the news about the impending “blessed event”.

WTF?

Now, I know my son’s closest friends very well.  I know that, if they get their hands on a juicy tidbit, their mother’s will know as soon know as possible.  They are incapable of not spilling their guts to their moms.  Clearly this trait hasn’t rubbed off onto my son.

When I lamented that the “moms” probably knew before I did, my son assured me that his friends PROMISED not to tell anybody.  I talked to one of the “moms”.  She knew before I did.  Her son spilled his guts.  My son is so naive…

Objectively, I kind of get why we were the last to know.  We traveled from Georgia to Illinois to visit them this summer for a long weekend.  They wanted to tell us in person.  They wanted to see our reaction.  I sorta get that in a detached kind of “isn’t that sweet” way.

But when I realize that scores of people knew before we did – their 3rd grade teachers, my 3rd grade teacher, our mailman and the cashier at Kroger – it made the news not quite as exciting as it should have been.

I’m just wondering what would have happened if we hadn’t gone up there this summer.  I guess I’d have figured it out when I got the first baby shower invite.

My son tells us were welcome to come up when his wife goes into labor to be there for the delivery.  We live a 12+ hour drive away. And it would be more than likely snowing for the last 6 of those 12+ hours what with the Polar Vortex and all.  To book a same day or next day flight would cost at least $630.  Each.

We opted to book a flight up two days after the due date in hopes that the little critter arrives on schedule or is maybe just a little late. That would be excellent if he was a bit late.  He would get his first Do Bee points for that.  Miss Janie would be proud.

We’ve been told we have to stay at a hotel when we come up because they don’t want anybody else in their house while they’re all “bonding”.  Good God.

Then we get a text a couple of weeks ago saying that we needed to get our “shots” before we come up.  Nobody without their “shots” will be allowed to get anywhere close to the baby.  Again, WTF?   I’ll get my shots alright – those little Candy Cane Jello shots from my last post.  Maybe I can find a happy hour close by.

So.many.rules.

But being the dutiful soon-to-be grandma who doesn’t want to piss off her son and really does want to see her newborn grandson, I got my “shots” yesterday.  And my arm is really, really sore today. Thanks Obama.

I’ve been thinking about my grandma “name”.  You know – what the little guy will call me when he starts talking.  Providing we will be allowed to talk to him.  You never know with all of the rules.

Grams, Nana, Grammy, Big Mama, Memaw – so many to choose from.

Hmmm…

GrannyMyAss has a really nice ring to it.

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22 thoughts on “Announcing a new stablemate for AgingGracefully

  1. Those ARE a lot of rules. My friend used to make everyone wash their hands before they held her baby. I just threw mine at them. “Here, catch, see you later!” and I’d run away. Haha, just kidding. Kind of.

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    • I have a feeling we are in the early stages of “the rules”… I was kind of like you with both of my kids. Hey, if you were willing to stay with them a spell and give me a break, as long as you didn’t have blood coming out of any orifices and your head wasn’t doing a 360, I was good!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my gosh! I could have written this. We had rules too. Both sides of the family were expected to be at the hospital for the delivery. I lived in NC and they lived in CA. So we dutiful parents sat in a small little waiting room for about 16 hours until the baby came. Then someone came in to tell us we could all go home as my DIL was tired and we could come back later. Her dad said, “No way. We’ve been waiting all this time and she’s going to see us now. She can sleep later.” Way to go, Dean! And the rules went on for years … mostly about words you couldn’t use, like “stupid”. I could never keep the word rules straight and was always getting reprimanded. Have a drink on me1 I’ll lift my glass to you later tonight!

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    • The “No way” thing could ONLY have come from one of her parents… As the “guys parents” we have a status somewhere on the level of the mold on bread! I see many reprimands in the future in my crystal ball. Cheers to you for navigating the treacherous waters with only minor skimishes! That’s a win in my book! And thanks for raising a glass to me – I’ll need it!

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  3. Ah, my dear … you simply must arm yourself with plenty of tissues. You’ll need them to frequently wipe the blood from your lips that comes from biting your tongue to a bloody stump! Trust me .. I’ve been there, done that. Also, keep repeating to yourself, “I know absolutely nothing about babies or small children. Therefore, I must keep any and all opinions or offerings to myself.” With love and understanding, Carolyn

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    • Now there’s the rub… Since I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten a lot more rebellious and less inclined to follow “the rules”. I’d much rather, as they say, “ask forgiveness rather than permission.” I wonder what happened – I used to be such a nice, meek, compliant person. Treacherous waters Doobster!

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  4. When I first read that your son and DIL hadn’t told you about the pregnancy yet, I thought maybe she was still in the first trimester and they were afraid to “jinx” things until she was further along. That I could see. But…five months along? Hmm… Well, they did know you would be coming to see them and maybe they really did want to see your reaction. So, I’d cut them a little slack on that one. But just a little!

    As for all the rules. Have you seen that commercial on t.v. for diapers where they show the mother with her first kid? The baby throws its binky on the floor and the mother immediately pops it into a pan of water boiling on the stove. With the second kid, they’re at the park and this baby throws the binky on the ground and the mother absent-mindedly puts it into her own mouth, sucks it “clean” and gives it back to the baby. That is what inevitably will happen with your DIL also. Every first time mother-to-be that I’ve ever known has always had a big list of “MY child will never do that” things that will go out the window as soon as reality intrudes on her idea of perfection in motherhood. Sleep deprivation, dealing with hormones and all that goes with it will change her perspective, pronto.

    I wasn’t there for any of the births of my grandchildren, and I live in the same town as two of the four. Those two were born by Caesarian in the middle of the night. My DIL in California had a long, hard labor with her first and should have had a C-section but by that time, it was too late. Needless to say, she and my son were exhausted. If you book a flight to be there for the birth, what happens if the kid is more than a week late? What I’m saying is, being there for “the blessed event” is overrated. Better to see the little nipper when it’s all cleaned up and mom and dad have had a chance to recover. I remember when I had my second child and my mother came to “help.” All I heard about was her complaining that there was a layer of dust on the dresser in my bedroom. And that was just for the one day my folks came by! At least she wasn’t staying with us.

    I do agree about flu shots, though. With all the hysteria over Ebola, people have forgotten that the common, ordinary flu can be dangerous for infants and young children. I’m around kindergartners twice a week and I definitely got my shot early, in September—for my protection, if nothing else!

    I’m sorry this is so long—but one more thing about names. When my grandkids were born, we already had a Granny (my mother), two Grandmas (my SIL’s mother and my DIL’s mother), a Jean (my ex-MIL, who never wanted to be called anything remotely like Grandma), and a Weegie (my ex’s wife), go figure on that one. We live in a town founded by Germans and EVERYONE goes by Oma and Opa, but that stuck in my craw, so I went with Memaw. My ex’s grandmother was Mammo, so it kind of continues that tradition. My daughter jokingly calls herself “MooMoo, daughter of Memaw” sometimes. We have a weird family.

    Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, hopefully your son and his wife will chill out after a while when they get into the groove of parenting and find out that sometimes “the rules” have to be bent because life doesn’t always go by the rules. Really, you all will be so blissed out by the new little tyke that none of this will matter. Enjoy!

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    • “…life doesn’t always go by the rules.” Ain’t it the truth!! I LOVE all the grandma names – so creative! I’m kinda partial to Weegie! Thanks for all of your encouragement! And they get no slack because my friends knew before I did and that is just totally unacceptable… 😉 Must repeat – it’s all good, it’s all good, it’s all good!

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  5. You Are Awesome! I Love Your Attitude…I became a Grandma this year for the first time…..and was not told until she was born, SURPRISE MY Ass….LOL:) Look forward to reading more about you. Really enjoyed so far!!

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  6. AGINGGRACEFULLYMYASS –
    I love your sense of humor. I think we both appreciate anything boomer related, as well as sprinkling humor in whenever possible. I have a blog related to such and wanted to mention that tomorrow, Nov. 23, I’m posting a piece entitled “Remember This? Cat Stevens album Tea for the Tillerman (or miles from nowhere and back again).” It’s timed to the release date of the album in 1970. I thought you might appreciate it. I invite you to read it and write back with your thoughts!

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    • Thanks for your kind comments! How did you know that Cat Stevens was one of my favorites “back in the day”? I actually have some of the Tillerman songs on my running playlist on my iPod. Talk about the clash of generations… Looking forward to reading it. That album (because I actually still have my original album!) brings back soooooo many wonderful memories. Back to a time when the future was open to all possibilities and our stories were yet to be written. Life was still a mystery.

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  7. Dear “GMA” – You made me laugh out loud. Just yesterday I received a birth announcement from a friend and there at the bottom was a footnote that read “Only gifts and clothing made with organic materials and fair trade practices, please!” I can only imagine that when I go to visit the baby, I’ll have to pass certification myself – not sure if I’ll make it Cheers! Roma

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    • Oh thank you!! I love hearing that my “slightly off kilter” way of looking at the world causes a gush of happy neurotransmitters in people’s brains!

      I’ll never forget my most embarrassing laugh out loud moment… I was in high school (a long, long time ago in a galaxy far away) and in a friends car. We had just gotten a Slurpee from the local minimart (which was actually a new concept in shopping back then) As soon as I had taken a big suck from my straw, my friend said something really, really funny. Yes – sticky, sweet blue raspberry Slurpee went all over the passenger side windshield, dashboard, seat and floor. Best laugh EVER!

      Stop by AGMA again and for God’s sake, get that baby something organic – like a piece of wood to teeth on! That could really mess with them…

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